Lionel Ritchie!

Ew, Billy Ray Cyrus. Ew, ew, ew.

Obvs Mr. Lohan

Here's my question: Was he troubled before the piercing?

karl rove's dad

[www.boingboing.net]

Louis Rove, the man identified as the adoptive father of Deputy White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove, apparently lived the latter part of his life as an out gay man who was deeply involved in body piercing culture.

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: The Republican party truly is the party with a big tent.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: if you know what i mean nudge nudge wink wink

the pix are more than a little scary

I thought it might be Jon Voigt, but Ange falls into the star rather than starlet column.

The wonky reality start might be Chyna Doll?

Could the last item be Quentin Tarantino?

I love reading these but I never know the answers.

Jon Voight

@VoxPopuli: goddammit!

@TheHonJudgeSmails: It's not the size of the tent, it's the quality of the circus. There, we Dems have you beat.

@Sarcastro: not the size of the wand but the skill of the magician

Father is Bruce Willis. Columnist is David Patrick Columbia. Paris Hilton is the wonky star. George Lucas is the director.

@Sarcastro: The relationship between the size of the vessel and the undulation of the body of water is inverse.

Or some such.

"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"

@Sarcastro: nope, in a bag.

@Sarcastro: is your refrigerator running?

Guys, sorry to ruin it for everyone but the "size doesn't matter" lie is just to keep guys from flinging themselves off a building. Skill matters greatly, but so does size. After you've had some time to digest the news, I have something to tell you about the Easter Bunny.

@scroll_lock: What? The Easter Bunny's hung like a horse? I know there's a some sort of egg joke to be made, but I'll stop there.

@valarmorghulis: @if_i_only_had_a_heart: Do you have eight-pound balls?

@scroll_lock: I'm hung like a Snuffalupagus.

@VoxPopuli: I'm happy to report he is almost as huge as Santa but not quite as huge as the Tooth Fairy! Sorry, just "egging" you on.

@scroll_lock: Fret not! The range of acceptable sizes is much wider than many people would have you believe.

@scroll_lock: not too big and not too small ... just right

@Sarcastro: HIII-YO!!

@crotchety: This message brought to you by the Baby Carrot Lobby.

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: that's what Goldilocks said about Papa Bear.

@Sarcastro: why yes as a matter of fact

The Prince Albert has to be Pimpa Smurf Simpson.

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Well, how, then, do you perambulate?

*ZING*

@scroll_lock: Will you be the Ed McMahon to my random Carson fill-in host?

@tribalpottery: unfortunately, george lucas hasn't been "half their age" (i.e. in his thirties) for several decades.

@Sarcastro: You are CORRECT, sir!

@scroll_lock: Man, that feels good.

I SO misread the last one.

@Sarcastro: Just make sure you're appropriately attired for the fun:

A-List director who is around 30...Wes Anderson? I'd say Ratner but he's always got a P.Y.T. on his arm.

@scroll_lock: I hate HTML snafus. Trying again

LiLo's Dad Michael, Musto From Village Voice, Who The Fuck Cares, and Brett Ratner . . .

Wes Anderson. I feel that it's Wes Anderson attempting to immerse himself more fully in Harold and Maude.

@scroll_lock: Select "preview comment" and then (don't ask me why) leave off the closing bracket (>) on your img src tag.

When the image shows up the preview, then you're doing it right.

"You can tell the world my dick has a ring
You can pose half naked for Vanity Fair
Or you can tell your friends that i can't fucking sing
And laugh and joke how much the public cares"

The short columnist with the ginormous ego is Mike Lupica.

How is this not Dominick Dunne? For all of them.

@La Cieca: Thank you, and thanks for the All About Eve bonus!