Do you think they'd send Gawker commenters free vodka in exchange for a temporary cease-fire on the SJP/horse jokes?

Is it an intentional joke that the "Samantha" drink involves rimming?

I can't wait to get drunk and shuffle around with my shoebox like a real career lady.

Just...thank you.

I'll have a Magda.

YAY! GO JEFF!!!! y'all should be reading every single one of jeff's nine hundred blogs because they're all amazing and delightful and spectacular. /pimping out my friends.

For Christ's sake. Promo crap copy needs an editor, perhaps one who speaks SATC or NY lingo, even. Perhaps the blurbs were thought up after sampling all the cocktails. Manolo Blahnik heels? Duane Reade drugs? I never even watched the show and I know they're just Manolos and I have never heard anyone call Duane Reade anything other than Duane Reade.

Oh, and I'll have a Charlotte, please.

I feel my identity has been defined - Ladydrunk!

At least this sounds a lot better than the cocktails in the Iron Man press kit. The "Tony Stark" contains a high level of industrial solvent, while the "Pepper Potts" is 95% aluminium oxide.

The DVD is also made out of lead.

I didn't realize Midori was widely consumed outside of Australia. The last time I was there it's all anyone was drinking. It reminds me of hanging out with trannies of Southeast Asian descent. They leave nothing for the imagination.

@NinaHagen: and shut-in.

Wow. The cocktails that launched a thousand Girls Gone Wild videos.

When will the posters of Carrie reapplying lipstick while looking in Mr Big's belt buckle come out? THEN I'll need vodka.

@mathnet: The Gabor Sister? You know, one of the two that were married to George Sanders? That must be some drink...

@La Cieca: I think that would have been more intentional for Charlotte.

AUNTPENISTON
3 ounces Fighting Cock

Serve in 80-year-old uranium-rich vasoline glass for extra punch.

Absolutely, positively no garnish.

@La Cieca: it goes perfectly with Houlihan's new Tossed Salad!

@the supergoddess: If I close my eyes, I can almost feel you registering the name Ladydrunk on Tumblr.

@BalknChain: Thanks for assisting in my gradual descent into bulimia with that comment - she shudders...

". . . about a self-centered clotheshorse and the women who indulge her. . ."

That is the most perfectly concise description of this show.

SATC: Bringing Manhattan ladyboys and crazy catladies together under the umbrella of ladydrunkism.

Holy crap, I've unwittingly served the Miranda at clothes swaps. Now I must go kill myself from the shame I have brought on my family.

@lawyergay: Seconded. Sometimes I worry, though, that all this "blogging" doesn't leave our dear Richard with enough time to work on his plays?

Ha, "clotheshorse."

Based on the leaked reports, shouldn't the Miranda drink have a drop or two of car wax? Or maybe a rubber-tire olive?

At Houlihans, of all places! Where you can get hit on by 48 year old, thrice divorced dart playing construction workers while you hobble around in strappy, overpriced shoes with will now reek of Skyy vodka and Budweiser.

@contradicto: I call for a round of applause.

I don't know about you, but like the SATC girls, I only consume and imbibe things that reflect specific unique facets of my personality.

@NinaHagen: ha! oops, sorry..

did the press kit include condoms?

I guess you could call all of these drinks "why-don't-we-get-drunk-and-screwdrivers."

+ Watch video

@AuntPeniston:
HamburgerHotdog:
2 bottles Andre
3 ounces tears
Garnish with liberal arts degree

In defense of "spirits" across the nation, we'd like not to be seen in same company as geriatric house mistresses, sloshing around, looking for "pool boys" to demonstrate their new found "sexual reawakening". It will certainly incur projectile vomiting, for everyone. Everywhere.

@contradicto:

change indulge to participate in codependency and ur all good

@Mary Mouse: I know. Until the triumphant opening night of "Ladydrunks" at the Minetta Lane Theatre, I'd at least appreciate some webisodes, maybe with finger puppets.

@Steverino: What are you talking about?

@hamburgerhotdog: Go get an MFA - then you can take those tears straight up.

@MisterHippity: yes!

@lawyergay: I haz an idea...and a camera...

@AuntPeniston: I like this game.

The Tallulah Skankhead:

Three ounces Tres Generaciones (sic) chased by a Coors Light 24-oz tallboy. Marlboro Red garnish. Rinse and repeat.

@hamburgerhotdog:Oh, I didn't realize that counted as a garnish. But now that I think of it, my liberal arts degree might be no more than an embellishment to my drunkeness.

You know, there's a Norman Mailer quote I read earlier today that seems relevant here. If only I could remember it. Something about cowards ...

@mathnet: Just a joke based on a spoiler someone posted here:

[gawker.com]

The Nina Hagen:

Stalingrad Vodka up with a pink morphine patch umbrella.

The Melinderr: As many bottles of the $3 Trader Joe's wine you can consume before blacking out!

@melinderr:

woah that would be mine too, crazy!

Here's a snippet I actually overheard Monday night outside MSG Theatre (Penn Station). Two girls, dressed like SATC girls (ie, skinny, dressed slutty but in a costumey kinda hot way)

Brunette in stilettos: Let's get cocktails. One or two more?

Blonde in stilettos: Yeah! Just shots.

I'll look for them at the front of the line on May 30th.

um, yah -- i'd rather get a vodka box, containing shoes.

My favorite part of this post was the phrase "vodka shoes." I don't drink alcohol but would totally wear something called vodka shoes. There could be vodka in the heel with a stopper that you could open and feed someone. That's Samantha-y enough, right?

@sylvie: The firm that serves our summons and complaints always gives all the attorneys at the firm a gift during the holidays. Last year, it was shoe-shaped bottles of brandy...from somewhere in central Europe-I forget for obvious reasons.

The press kit for my soon-to-be-released debut is much more simple: a burlap bag full of weed.

@Lizawithazee: You have indeed brought great shame to your ancestors. Seppuku is the only honorable option...

@Lizawithazee: You have brough great shame upon your ancestors. Seppuku is the only honorable option...

@Lustylady

"There could be vodka in the heel with a stopper that you could open and feed someone. That's Samantha-y enough, right?"

No, if it was Samantha, the heel would be filled with lube.

@digitalsmoothie:

I will be waiting patiently at my mailbox for your upcoming press kit.