After reading the vivid description of a greeting card plucked from the "Friendship - Stalked Actress" section of his local Hallmark store and presented by noted creep Jack Jordan to Uma Thurman on the steps of her My Super Ex-Girlfriend trailer, all we wanted was to catch a glimpse of the heavily-doodled correspondence. Sadly, none seemed to exist. No matter: We simply asked the talented team over at Defamer's Evidence-Recreation Dept. to whip us up this stunning facsimile, based upon Thurman's detailed testimony. We think you'll find it a satisfactory approximation of the original, down to the last ACME razor blade and "tee-hee."

• Uma Thurman's Stalker Wooed Her With Doodled Harbingers Of Stick-Figure Doom [Defamer]

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