Advertising: Booze Activists Defend Right to Drive Drunk, Spell Lindsay Lohan's Name Wrong

Our friend Copyranter brings this troubling ad to our attention. The ad, from today's USAToday (a highly esteemed bastion of journalism), uses a mugshot of Lindsay Lohan, coupled with what appear to be promotional photos for that Bennigan's off Route 9, to show us how drunk-sensing ignition locks should be used in moderation. Because, I, um, guess there is a gray area when it comes to drunk driving. So, yeah, their cause is pretty bad. But even worse is that they spelled the freckled boozehound's name wrong. It's "Lindsay," not "Lindsey" you dopes. You take out a full page ad in a national newspaper and you can't even spell a damn name right? You've been drinking too much. As have I. Click through for larger.

10:47 AM on Fri May 2 2008
By Richard
4,452 views
38 comments

Comments

tempest at 10:54 AM on 05/02/08
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Why don't the photos at the bottom have captions ... some ideas:

They know all the backroads home.

They've never been caught for a DUI - yet.

They bribe the cop in the small town who was drinking at the bar right next to them when he pulled them over.

SHEESH.
Knucklehead Babylon at 10:56 AM on 05/02/08
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I never said it was safe to suck down a bottle of mezcal and play chicken with other motorists. I just said it was reallly really fun.
Sarcastro at 10:59 AM on 05/02/08
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One of the underappreciated benefits of urban living: Getting tanked and being able to either walk home or use public transportation.

Sure, you might get mugged now and again, but life is never risk-free.

*HIC*
IndianSlipper at 11:02 AM on 05/02/08
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I can't believe someone is fighting for this! Yay!
digitalsmoothie at 11:04 AM on 05/02/08
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Booze activists? I must have missed that table on the mall as an undergraduate.

I once turned 'Hansen' into 'Hanson' in a bibliography for a paper; my advisor berated me for turning his mentor into a member of the worst boy band, evarz.
fiveinchtaint at 11:04 AM on 05/02/08
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@Sarcastro: It really is the greatest. Essential, even. Although I hope at some point I will be able to be moderate enough for this not to be a concern. What I really need is one of those gadgets on the internet.
Spirit Fingers at 11:05 AM on 05/02/08
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Wake up call when you've become a stock photo.
digitalsmoothie at 11:06 AM on 05/02/08
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And isn't that photo on the left from a wedding? Do they have those at Bennigan's now?
whoneedslight at 11:09 AM on 05/02/08
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I am totally buying a USA Today.
Richard at 11:10 AM on 05/02/08
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@digitalsmoothie: Yes.
IndianSlipper at 11:13 AM on 05/02/08
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@whoneedslight: LOL me too
AuntPeniston at 11:16 AM on 05/02/08
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@digitalsmoothie:The parents of a good friend of mine got married in a cave. Not sure which is worse.
contradicto at 11:17 AM on 05/02/08
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BADD: Boozehounds Applauding Drunk Driving
VirusWithShoes at 11:17 AM on 05/02/08
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That picture of Lohan makes me want to chase the dragon. Which is a lot like Chase the Crawford, but less sickening.
BalknChain at 11:26 AM on 05/02/08
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I can get dwunk annnnd dwive whevevah I wan' now. Whereth Bananigins agin? Whererrarr my coke pamnts.
BalknChain at 11:27 AM on 05/02/08
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@VirusWithShoes: wear 3 pair of socks
Spirit Fingers at 11:30 AM on 05/02/08
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@AuntPeniston: I'm going with theme chain restaurant, because there are only so many skirt steaks and ultimate strawberry margheritas before one realizes there's a Gumby on the wall.
lululemming at 11:38 AM on 05/02/08
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No to miss the point entirely, but surely the USA Today has people in charge of making sure their full-page ads are in good taste. Is print media such a sinking ship that they'll just run anything no How did this slip through? I'm [clutches pearls] appalled.

What next? Rape whistles: A good idea for [picture of Mike Tyson]
a bad idea for:

[picture of frat boy spiking a girls drink], [picture of dude on a date with drunk girl], [picture of Kobe Bryant].

Christ.
lululemming at 11:38 AM on 05/02/08
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Apologies for going all Jezebelly there. I've not been around for a while.
SidAndFinancy at 11:41 AM on 05/02/08
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@contradicto: DAMM: Drunks Against Mad Mothers.
MisterHippity at 11:42 AM on 05/02/08
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Taxes.

A good idea for everyone else.

But not for MisterHippity.

("I'm MisterHippity, and I approved this message.")
Rozelle’s Bagman at 11:51 AM on 05/02/08
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I'm disturbed that Gawker knows where my local Bennigan's is located
MisterHippity at 11:53 AM on 05/02/08
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Apparently, it's a bad idea because those people are just so damn happy.
crumb-bun at 12:00 PM on 05/02/08
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"Freckled boozehound" is great. Please always use with her name whenever you refer to her in future.
AuntPeniston at 12:02 PM on 05/02/08
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@Spirit Fingers: I really wish you hadn't pointed that out. Now I'm going to feel his eyes on me all day.
straightgawker at 12:03 PM on 05/02/08
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I'm glad to see someone standing up for adults' civil liberties.

If a blind, 70 year-old suffering from dimensia is able to get behind the wheel; why can't someone who's had two cocktails?

At least the latter's actually likely to avoid a pedestrian in the road and be able to swerve out of the way of an accident.

Then again, that's something I love about NYC: not having to drive.
TroutSavant at 12:21 PM on 05/02/08
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What offends me more is their flagrant misuse of the colon. Which I think might still be illegal in Texas.
Spirit Fingers at 12:24 PM on 05/02/08
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@AuntPeniston: For me it awakens my inner kleptomaniac, as I've been plotting on the Etch A' Sketch for a month. It's probably only held up there with chicken wire, right? Probably.
glitter at 12:29 PM on 05/02/08
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What about drinking cough syrup and driving? Is that a grey area?
jaywalke at 12:33 PM on 05/02/08
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@glitter:

Usually more a green area on the rug.
Knucklehead Babylon at 12:44 PM on 05/02/08
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@glitter: Its acceptable if you call it "Robotripping."
AuntPeniston at 12:55 PM on 05/02/08
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@Spirit Fingers: Good thing I carry wire cutters with me at all times. Now go bring the car around front and be ready high-tail it!
glitter at 12:57 PM on 05/02/08
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@Knucklehead Babylon: Ooooh yes, I knew there was a classy technical term...
MisterHippity at 12:59 PM on 05/02/08
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@crumb-bun: It's high time, in my opinion, that the American Kennel Club recognized the Freckled Boozehound as a legitimate breed.

They're just a bunch of fucking snobs.
Spirit Fingers at 01:02 PM on 05/02/08
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@AuntPeniston: Right, you grab Gumby, I'll get the Etch A Sketch and that picture of Twiggy from Buck Rogers. Careful that big canoe doesn't fall on us during our getaway.
digitalsmoothie at 01:43 PM on 05/02/08
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@VirusWithShoes: That's Chace the Crawford. Duh!

@Spirit Fingers: @AuntPeniston: I'm torn. Was it a 'Bridal Cave' with a lumpy stalagmite that looks like a precious moments figurine? That would affect the reckoning.
LoveHandles at 01:49 PM on 05/02/08
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Well its business drunk. Its like rich drunk. Either way, its legal to drive.
AuntPeniston at 01:51 PM on 05/02/08
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@digitalsmoothie:It was, in fact, Bridal Cave. But how could you know that unless you have ESPN?