"Enjoying the Fried Calamari" Not Actually a Sexual Euphemism, Sadly

Yesterday, we speculated about what Nerve.com blogger (and member of defunct 90s band Johnny Bravo) Branwyn Lancourt meant when he said that he "enjoyed the fried calamari, so to speak" on his date the other night. What sort of depraved sexual act was he referring to? Our diseased minds went haywire. But no: he e-mailed us to let us know that it wasn't some sort of euphemism (and also sort of implied that we're assholes, but that's OK.) What he meant follows, as does a totally awesome YouTube film he made with his twin brother! (Quote: "Fuck you for wanting me to look you in the eye! I don't want to know you that well." Also: "Kafka was a clerk!")

"For the record I wasn't speaking euphemistically as far as the 'calamari' quote is concerned. I was referring to an earlier post of mine, where I was talking a bit about dating expectations as you can see from the quote below":

"I guess the main thrust of it all, is people shouldn't really go into a date with too many expectations. Even if things APPEAR to be going smoothly, you really can never know what's going on in the noggin of the person staring back at you over a delicious plate of fried calamari. My advice?

Just enjoy the fried calamari."


A preview of Falling Off the Table :