Beefcake.

@KarenUhOh: He said that already, dummy.

When protein smoothies just don't seem to work anymore.

This is what happens when you're raised on mutton.

This makes it even creepier that "Clay Aiken" is an anagram for "lay in cake."

Don't ask about the au jus.

Cannibal Hector

I guess he didn't rub the lotion on his skin correctly...

The rainbow blankie is a nice touch - just in case anyone thought he was the winner of the "Mr. Straight UK" title.

The soundtrack for Ravenous was pretty awesome though.

Hannibal Rising

In his defence, he probably met him down the local meat market.

The only thing NSFW about that photo is the huge bush.

@extracrispy: Don't give any ideas to the next generation of professional baseballers.

Other facts of the case:

- Old tilt-a-whirl car found in garage
- Black blow-up doll dressed as an undercover cop
- My Sharona was playing on repeat

Looks like Ethan Hawke had a stalker, too. You're not so special, Uma.

Eat your heart out, Jeffrey Dahmer

An interesting thought, in and of itself.

/Carlin

Patrick Bateman, meet your gay, UK-based counterpart, the "English Psycho" . . .

All I can think of is...what horrifying trauma did he experience as a child to make him want to eat human flesh?

I am totally going to stop complaining about the trick who stole my weed.

@extracrispy: In the context of this post, your name makes me giggle.

@JinxyMcDeath: Spotted Dick.
Have you tasted English fast food?

@valet_of_the_dolls: Or the one that took 50 Euros out of my wallet.

This would be sorta chucklesome if I wasn't positive that homophobic jerkwad blogs weren't gonna be using this as proof that the way of the gay is a wicked one, and that the biased liberal media jackals aren't covering this as much as they should because they are biased and liberal. And jackals.

This takes the excuse of eatin' ain't cheatin' to a new low.

There's nothing like cumin on a friend.

This is what happens when you're raised without any irony, isn't it?

Hey, Mr. Gay UK - Bite me!

Are we sure he just wasn't hungry for some tube steak?

I guess it must be tough dealing with reality after coming down from the high of being crowned Mr. Gay UK.

@monkeyhead:

Didn't they have Brazilian waxes in the early '90s?

@AuntPeniston: Tell me about it!

If they ever find out I'm straight, they'll fucking kill me. And take the tiara back.

It's stories like this that make me so very fucking happy that I'm back in the dating pool.

@VirusWithShoes: Sorry, I hocked your tiara and used the money to buy a couple cases of Fighting Cock. I'm crafty like that.

What seasoning was he going to use?

The public has a right to know.

@JinxyMcDeath: and what wine does that go with

@KarenUhOh: No no, it's "Long-Pork-Cake"

Well at least he cooked the flesh! There's nothing more disgusting than eating human flesh when it is raw.

@peterparker69: I heard the salad was a bit too oily, though. Ugh.

Gordon Ramsey had probably advised him to use something local and fresh.

@Dickdogfood: Nah, no worries there I would think. The cannibals of late were straight: i.e. the Tompkins Park character who boiled his ballerina gal pal and served her as soup and the loon down in New Orleans who had his gal's head in a pot and legs in the oven for gumbo which he followed with a splendid leap from a hotel roof.

@bonera: Genius!

What a boner killer.

@contradicto: He had mutton to lose.