Leslie Jordan, diminutive old actor and self-proclaimed "gayest man in the world," would like to talk to you about fucking. It seems he's managed to swat his tiny little paws at a keyboard long enough to craft a "dishy" memoir entitled My Trip Down the Pink Carpet (it has the word pink in it because he likes to have butt sex) in which he divulges some scandalous stories about getting high and waking up in a WeHo lumberyard with no underpants on. He also talks about his time on Lois & Clark and the urge to "peter-gaze" when Dean Cain walked around in his Superman tights. Other things: he had a thing for Billy Bob Thornton's "wiener" (I just passed out for a minute) and once shared a prison cell with Robert Downey Jr. The only explanation I can come up with as to why any of these anecdotes exist is that they're some sort of promotional tie-in with a DVD re-release of Darby O'Gill and The Little People. [Rush & Molloy. Their headline is "What's Short for Sex? Leslie Jordan." Seriously] After the jump, find video of Jordan speaking at Google of all places.