tag nomination: TOMMY CAKES

Let's find these two, jail them, and split the proceeds evenly - French Revolution style.

he really really needs some p33n.

he is going mad for the lack of p33n.

tom, do not ph34r teh p33n.

embrace teh p33n.

love teh p33n.

u know u want it

How to make normal in two easy steps!

Step 1. Remove Scientology from your life.
Step 2. Remove Tom Cruise from your life.

He sounds like a Gawker commenter.

I am always mystified that Oprah looks better/younger now than she did 20 yrs ago.

@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: it's cuz she's rich now

Are you suggesting that next year this time, Tom and Oprah will be getting married, with Isaac Hayes singing at the wedding?

ooh liveblog the interview I want running commentary. damn work, keeping me from everything that's really important.

@MrInBetween: nice, seconded.

@TheHonJudgeSmails: It would be a service to the peoples of the world. Vive la Republique!

So here's a thought: If Tom Cruise is, as I believe he is, the Rock Hudson of our time -- that means he's a closeted gay actor afraid of coming out and ruining his career as a leading man. Aren't we crappy as well if, even though we know all this, we continue to ef with him? I mean, does ironic distance mitigate homophobia? Not that Cruise isn't just as creepy as all get-out..

@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley: $50 million get you Cher's face. $1 billion gets you Oprah's.

I'm begging. Please, someone -- fix these here boxes. Is Tom Cruise the closeted gay film star of our time -- like Rock Hudson was to his? If so, are we the homophobic louts of our time when we clown him for his many bearding activities? He's only hiding because to be out would mean to lose everything - and he has lots to lose. Thoughts?

@donmiguel: it's not homophobia if you mock someone who denies who he is

he's the one with the homophobia

me, i madly love teh gayz

being gay is only something 2 b scared of if people let the culture be that way

come out come out come out tom ... be out and be proud

WWUFC?

(What would UNFUN comment)

@donmiguel: Clowning on Tom Cruise is homophobia-phobia.

@donmiguel: Personally, I think no. There's much more going on here - I think - than someone living a half-life in the closet.

Two summers ago, when he was assaulting furniture and calling people glib, I found the whole thing kind of fascinating because unlike so many public meltdowns, this one wasn't being obviously being fueled by drugs or alcohol. Rather, it was as though whatever materials he had cobbled his "personality" out of were disintegrating, and quickly.

Quite honestly, I find him to be a total bore. The interview was better than a valium.

Surpise! Oprah is Xenu!

@PickleTitsTurner: I KNEW Xenu was hiding somewhere in plain sight!

@famousauthor: well that explains everything

@donmiguel: also, if it's not safe for someone with his $$ and power to come out then it's not safe for anyone

he is a chicken shit for hiding and lying

anderson cooper is quietly amgiguous in his public stance; good for him

cruise is loudly lying every day

Tom's fate was sealed when he replaced his publicist of 14 years Pat Kingsley in 2004 with his stupid-ass, know-nothing sister, who had no idea about how to control his public image.