"Eating a Six-Foot Cake in Slow Motion"

While most of you lot are still gawking at the corpses of your friends, it is important to keep on with the business of living. As President Morgan Freeman says in Deep Impact: "I'm the president." But, also some things about marching on in the face of terrible tragedy. So I urge you to gather here (or, rather, after the jump) and revel in the successes of your peers; six noble souls who looked at an empty comment box and dared to ask "Why not?"

  • From millwhistle in Good News: Even More Subway Ads:
    "No one is going to want their brand associated with the G train. Except maybe a molasses company" [Hamilton's pick. He says: "In honor of sheila and all greenpoint peoples."]
  • From Chaim_Gnadelstein in Stalk Scarlett Johansson Via Music Video:
    "What does she have to be so miserable about? Being really, really attractive and clearing five million a year as a very mediocre actor?

    If I was in her position, this video would basically be four minutes of me in a posh dining room, devouring a six-foot cake in slow motion. Barefoot, in my fucking bathrobe. " [Ryan's pick]

  • From tracyflick in Enjoying the Fried Calamari Not Actually a Sexual Euphemism, Sadly:
    "The Nerve personal are full of the most pompous, pseudo-intellectual douchebags. At least on Lavalife you know what you're getting - a bunch of ex-cons who wear Joey Buttafucco pants and live in Queens." [Sheila's pick]
  • From Helman in Ugh:
    "Am so relieved I'm not the only person to have watched that miserable show." [Solidarity!]
  • From Bell County in Floridians Confused by Fairy's Message:
    "These people are just upset because their religions aren't robust enough to contain the statement. For example, this sign is not problematic if you worship fairies." [And for lots of other brilliant work this week, foreal.]
  • Your Party Pick this week goes, bittersweetly, to VirusWithShoes who wrote lovely words in LIterary Love Connection:
    "SIR GEOFFREY

    Why, Adams, you old dog, you - come closer, dear boy. I simply must declare my undying adoration of that filly Seltzer's marvellous mountains!

    ADAMS

    I hear the talents she so obviously brings are done a disservice by her penchant for lily-gilding, Sir.

    SIR GEOFFREY

    Indeed, my boy. But it is said amongst no finer crowd than this, that baby may have back - if not front, Adams. Thoughts?

    ADAMS

    I have heard the same whispers in the self-same corridors, Sir. She undoubtedly has a fine rack, although - if I may speak somewhat out of turn - it appears that she will not be going back after reportedly getting some black.

    SIR GEOFFREY

    Ah, what a damned shame. My darling Cressida went through the exact same thing in the Congo. Last time I saw her, she was waving goodbye from the back of an elephant, naked as the day I met her. Ah well - I guess it's off to war, then?

    ADAMS

    Indeed!

    SIR GEOFFREY

    I meant for you, not me. Of course.

    ADAMS

    Of course, Sir. Wouldn't dream of it any other way. (EXITS) "

  • Bravo to all!