• Topless Miley Cyrus took her top off, making her topless, for Vanity Fair and their mind-controlling lesbionic photographer Annie Leibovitz. Uh... just click here to read everything about that incident. Now let us never speak of it again.
  
• A comedian told a newspaper to shut up. Newspapers don't even talk, stupid!
  
• Remember...
  
• The thing is, we sympathize with anyone unlucky enough to have to teach what was essentially a remedial writing class to a bunch of entitled Dartmouth freshmen assholes. Not pleasant. Still, this was maybe not the best way to handle it? There was more embarrassment, for everyone.
  
• Scientologists DON'T WANT TO YOU KNOW about, uh, the propaganda videos they posted on YouTube. Or the fact that their party boat is full of asbestos! Also, body thetans.
  
• The Brooklyn Kickball scandal continued. We still have no clue what it's about.
  
• Who wants to make their blog into a book? Your MOM.
  
• Things continued to happen at the Wall Street Journal.
  
• The DC Madam killed herself. Magazine people awarded themselves. Strippers fought city hall.
  
• Eccentrics! Gotta catch 'em all!

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.