Food: Now DumberAmerican food, despite having devolved to the point that it is totally formulated by scientists, manufactured by machines, ergonomically packaged, and full of ingredients that do not occur in the natural world, is still a bit too challenging—and downright complicated—for many of our citizens. So Kraft, which makes many of your favorite brands of junk food, is dumbing down its packaging and product offerings so even the most simple among us can enjoy pudding, Cool Whip, and cheese slices. All together, even!

Kraft's feedback from consumers indicated their food "wasn't easy enough." So they're rolling out a big marketing campaign to unveil fantastic new obesity generators in their product line:

Take, for example, Cool Whip, which comes in a large tub that must be kept in the freezer. Consumers didn't want to have to take that trying trip to the freezer every time they wanted a dollop, so they'd either skip the topping or went with a canned brand. Kraft's solution: a Cool Whip aerosol, so consumers can reach into the fridge and easily squeeze out a topper for their cookie, brownie or piece of fruit.

There's also frozen cheese-filled bagels, a newer, easier way to pull cheese slices out of the package, and "Goldfish Mac N' Cheese crackers, shaped like macaroni noodles but in cracker form." And what about those new single-serving packets of Jell-O powder—just add to milk and stir in. It's educational!

Janet Myers, senior director-Kraft Kitchens, said the product is aimed at moms who want to make after-school snacks for their kids without having to wait for the Jell-O to congeal in the fridge. There is, however, some work involved in the preparation — but, luckily, the kids can do it. "They like the interactivity of the stirring," she said, noting that the individual packs aid in portion control.

[via Ad Age—and a special shout out to reporter Emily Bryson York for achieving a reasonable level of disdain in her tone in this story. Well done.]