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New Optimum Online Ad Trades Reggaeton For Suburban R&B!

Optimum Online commercials: they are now their own genre. A specific category at the Grammy Awards, a spot in the Olympic Games, and a bust on Mount Rushmore are reserved specifically for the psychedelic, grating ads that this strange company produces. The original "Reggaeton-Jet Ski-Lifeguard" spot was an over-the-top classic after only 17,000 exposures per person in the Tristate area; the follow up spot, all shiny, kinetic, and Hype Williams-esque, expanded the motif. Now there's a new one in circulation, and it shifts the setting to suburbia, with a sort of knockoff Gwen Stefani character whirling through a household with backup dancers, and the odd appearance of an old lady who is also a race car driver. Philosophers, break out your thinking caps. The full ad is after the jump.

5:01 PM on Mon May 5 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
1,775 views
14 comments

Comments

MissCast at 05:09 PM on 05/05/08
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Isn't this just a target/old navy ad with different music?
Hamilton Nolan at 05:12 PM on 05/05/08
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Connectedness Index: 117

Will this be the end of reggaeton once and for all?
blakeley at 05:13 PM on 05/05/08
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Who wants gasolina?
EleanorRigby at 05:14 PM on 05/05/08
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@MissCast: performance fleece, ooh it's fine! performance fleece...i'll be there at 9!
Priam at 05:19 PM on 05/05/08
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Wow, that lady had an apron on. Better not show this to the Jezebel ladies.
ambitious at 05:20 PM on 05/05/08
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It's not half as good. And the trio of brown singers is annoying. Do all white women secretly want to be followed around by a trio of brown singers? Cause I don't get it.

Also: I'm sick of that Marimekko print. And where's my Ovaltine! Turn up the TV - I can't hear it!
Spirit Fingers at 05:29 PM on 05/05/08
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@Hamilton Nolan: Thank You!

I was hoping I wasn't the only one who wanted to set fire to their offices. It's so heinous I can barely speak of it. What's that other annoying one (set to reggaeton...dear Lord, is it the same one?!), "917-484-4444" they just keep saying "4444" over, and over, until you, well, die.

I also had pain, and I needed law.
Clevertrousers at 05:40 PM on 05/05/08
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@Hamilton Nolan: as if mere overexposure and crappy production values could kill reggaeton!
Hiphopopotamus at 06:14 PM on 05/05/08
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Why is a quasi-hot blond singing this? Am I supposed to consider fucking my internet provider?
nycaviation at 06:29 PM on 05/05/08
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The landscaper is Brett from America's Most Smartest Model.
Git Em SteveDave at 06:43 PM on 05/05/08
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After seeing that commercial, the other one seems not so bad now. I mean what is REALLY so bad about a commercial which can only be described as "Carlos Mencia meets Baywatch meets Pirates of The Caribean......in Spanish". Hell, the US Window Factory radio commercials in the NYC area are less annoying than this trash.
mandelion at 06:58 PM on 05/05/08
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@nycaviation: I was about to say the same thing. I've loved seeing him in commercials lately. He seems like a pretty cool dude but I love me that russian :D
mowglicub at 07:12 PM on 05/05/08
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by nycaviation at 06:29 PM "The landscaper is Brett from America's Most Smartest Model."

Wait! There's an America's Most Smartest Model? I think that's either a typo or an oximoron. Can he spell?
ufphoenix at 01:13 PM on 05/07/08
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the song isn't as catchy, but the gardener makes it all worthwhile