oh yes, she has raised a fine young lady. she deserves more awards.

Is that a reference to that excellent movie with Angelica Houston??? That is fucking awesome!!! There can be no more perfect caption.

Isn't it a little late for April fool's???

That's a lovely pearl necklace the speaker has.

Jeez, what's Martha doing S of CT and W of the Hamptons? And when did she get the work done on her ears?

Later that evening they gave a lifetime achievement award to Andrea Yates.

@Helman: I totally missed it!

@Richard: Roald Dahl tag to advertise the genius?

Rohald Dahl references! you have outdone yourself.

Candice Bergen Is Honored

@TedCopacabana: The honoree's hospital gown is nice too.

"Don't fuck wit me, Brandeis. I got more back in dis place den da Pope!"

This makes me so ashamed of having family in Long Island.

classy side boob on the right.
LI and class: two things that go together like peanut butter and mayo.

Kratos may be called upon to topple the Hydra.

PSYCHE! Right? RIGHT?!

@SheLaughs: This makes me ashamed of Long Island.

Frankenstein, post sex change op, accepts lifetime achievement award, bites head off presenter.

Dina loves a good game of grabass.

Moments before Ashton Kutcher popped out from behind podium...

@hypocriteoath: That's inside boob -- not as good as outside boob. Didn't she realize that after the surgery she'd have to get new shirts?

"And the Cougar of the Year is..."

And then, Lindsay came staggering in to present award. Somewhere, Lynne Spears is weeping.

"And to present Dina's award, here's Long Island Husband of the Century winner Joey Buttafuoco!"

The Rotary Club of Nassau County proudly presents it's annual "Big Hair" award to....

@CaptainFantastic: inside, outside, it's all side to me.

that IS her new shirt... what's the point of surgery if you can't show it off to everyone all the time?

@hypocriteoath: I think she should have done her nose first, no?

"The key is communication. I used to tell Lindsay, 'If I don't see a drink in this hand in about 30 seconds, you're gonna see the back of it!'"

Lindsay's Mom's Got Hausfraus Glommin' On

@Helman: Agreed! I need to netflix that ish.

"Thank you, ladies. All I can say is ... let's drink! The Long Island iced teas are on me!"

Well, according to the Newsday article, they basically asked anyone who has ever mothered a celebrity from Nassau County to be there. Given the fact that I've never heard of this group before, I am not going to let them speak for all Long Islanders. Just the South Shore Nassau County folk.

[www.newsday.com]

"First prize goes to Stella Falco, whose little Annie finally got a ring from that nice dentist in Cedarhurst. Second goes to Amy Schwartz, whose son Barry got a wonderful job at a news show called '360,' and apparently is already very good friends with the anchorman. And third prize goes to Dina Lohan, whose daugher Ali has already appeared on two reality shows and an 'E! True Hollywood Story'! We can only hope she continues to have the same kind of success in the future."

"I smell... dogs droppings"
"Search out this small lump of dung! Find it! It must be exterminated immediately!"

The one with the pearls is Ali Lohan, right? For a forteen-year-old, she's pretty poorly preserved.

Hang on a minute, is that Tracey Ullman beside her?

"Oh, I Really Shouldn't."

The Worst Straight Faces Ever

Game of "Frogger" Continues on Local Woman's Shirt

"Is Linda Tawkin' 'Bout Her Fahkin' Pearls Again???!!!"

"Is that Middle Button There Like Made Out of Titanium or Somethin'? You've Got an Amazing Rack."

Richard, you picked a winner on this already, dintcha?

Actually, isn't it "Vitches...remove...your vigs"?

Wait a minute, Jean Smart is Lindsay Lohan's mother? You learn something new everyday.

Oh man. The worst part was when his grandmother told him about how a witch stuck her thumb in the spout of a kettle until it steamed off. I fucking loved that book.

GREAT caption, loved that movie!

Dina's work to get Susan Smith out of prison finally gets the notice it deserves. They all sang: Dina won't you blow, Dina won't you blow, Dina won't you blow your horn!

@hypocriteoath: My grandmother's Depression-era treat: peanut butter + mayo + lettuce. So much better than it sounds. Really.

BEST CAPTION EVER!