I got an email today from Janks, replying to my question about what time he'd be on today. It said he would be on at 3pm and he just washed his underpants.

I may have to give Janka another try now that he and his underpants are squeaky clean.

But can he do one-armed push-ups on stage at the Academy Awards, Alex??

@Richard: Jack Palance would kick his ass if he even tried.

Why didn't he say something to that first girl like, "I know ONE thing I'd like to put in your body ..." ? If I were a douchebag, that's what I'D say.

The best part?

In last week's episode about the "cougar craze" Janka was featured as one of the men who attended a Sugar Mamma/Boy Toy speeddating event. The women who attended all had to pay $500 (because only desperate women would attend something like that so why not gouge them while you're at it) and the men had to pay $50. The $500 allegedly included a screening of the men.

The very next clip after Janka's interview were he expounded on the virtues of older women and the matchmaker who put it together, Janis Spindel, gloated how all the men were screened? It was a preview of this very episode. So, there's the matchmaker talking about how amazing the guys who attended her sleazy speed dating event were and BOOM "Next on Dr. Phil...meet this raging sociopath and narcissist and they show Janka's photo.

I get the feeling this is going to end up as an exhibit in some kind of grand jury proceeding.

Is this the best story they could dig up on this guy? He told some chick not to eat cake? Can't they find the 300-400 women whose puppies he exposed himself to, or all the dates for whom he took his cock out totally unprovoked in the middle of dinner?

I just had a flash of what it would have been like if Jeffrey Dahmer had been on Oprah on a day she was giving away freezers to everyone in the audience.

@lawyergay: Dr. Phil will be there, tearful, insisting he had NO idea of what was going to happen.

Bag of dirt. Fucking. Fucking dirtbag.

@SarahHeartburn: Oh, this comment isn't gold, it's platinum.

@SarahHeartburn:
Now I'm not going to sleep tonight, because I'm imagining what it would be like if Joe Francis got a gig writing for Gawker the day everyone was awarded a Commie.

Muchos gracias!

In a way I feel like all this attention is just getting them more women. Maybe they are ivy league super-geniuses

@In Other News...: And so is Phil. Daring to call himself a therapist. Put a space between the third and fourth letter of that word, Dr. Phil, you self-pimping, woman-pimping meeskite.

@SarahHeartburn: oh, brilliant!

This fella is actually pretty scary. There's no humanity about him. Am I the only picturing him calling escort services and asking, "Will it cry if hurt?" and "Do you offer insurance in case I break it?"

You keep wondering if it's all an act to get media attention. Or is he really just that douchey?

@rosaluxembourgeoise:
You meant to write "brilliant on so many levels, it actually hurts".

@tracyflick: Both. BOTH of them. It rankles to think that Phil has a viewing audience who just might think he might have some wisdom because he's a shrink. He's gone from shilling snake oil to foisting infected snake pus on vulnerable women. The fact that the women on his staff put up a bit of minor resistance is even more upsetting. Why didn't someone bash Janka's skull in with an office chair?

Bedtime for me here in GMT+1, but I leave you with a bouncy tune:

+ Watch video

@SarahHeartburn: does it mean that i'm old if i'm totally salivating over the hairdos?

@lawyergay: Yes, and one of the exhibits will be a photograph of the well where he kept his "dates" and lowered lotion to them in a basket.

I don't know if this says more about me or the available men in Los Angeles, but I would totally date Paul Janka.

Was anyone else looking at this clip REEEEALLY closely like I was- trying to see if the hair gel was, um well, jizz?

and does that me a sad perv too?

@BowlingAlleyLawyer: damn you for taking my joke! I'm going to do it anyway, though.

Is that salt and pepper hair or jizz hair?

And no, it doesn't make you a sad perv, cause we already know that it's (sadly) likely true.

this one right here? will marry. MUST. MARRY. hopefully our offspring will inherit his date rapey eyes.

@SarahHeartburn: totally fucking awesome!

@as_per_usual: Ha! I still have a perverse desire to know just exactly what he smells like.
Maybe Kelly whats-her-face can clue us in?

"You asked her for a blumpkin? Are you stupid?!? What were you thinking? Get your head out of the gutter! A blumpkin?!? Get real! Did you fall out of the dumb tree?!! Man! So,how's that workin' for you? Asking women for blumpkins, I mean? They just say no? I hate it when that happens! Say, have you read my book, (Insert Book Name Here)? You ain't from Texas, are ya?"

@SarahHeartburn: You are Terror, and men will cower before you.

I heart you.

Is her for real???? Get him a date with JA pronto

I meant 'he' for real. But still....this whole thing/interview is legen.....wait for it....dary. You know what I'm talking about.

@SarahHeartburn: My in-laws tell me of the wonders of Dr. Phil. He talks tough, he really helps them.
After the first day or two of visiting, I just turn into one of those drinking bird dolls that just nods and nods with that glassy stare.

I'd fuck him with John Fitzgerald Page's dick.

Carry a big dildo and insist that whatever he wants to do should be tried out on him first.

JFP needs his own big dildo so he can fuck himself because I cannot imagine why any woman would be interested in a guy who talks, looks, sounds and presents like this fool even with a ten foot strap-on.