Gawker
Salvia: the legal drug that really works. Unlike most of the herbal fake-weed concoctions sold in the back pages of High Times, salvia is actually a powerful drug. As anyone who took one too many hits can attest. Now, New York state lawmakers are moving to ban salvia, with penalties of up to three months in jail for possession, and a year for distribution. And crazy kids have no one to blame but themselves; the state senator who proposed the ban "said he was convinced that the drug should be banned after he and his aides watched YouTube videos of people smoking salvia and having psychedelic experiences." Not so funny now, is it? Okay, it's still funny. The videos in question—which we've helpfully posted after the jump—mostly prove that salvia makes people do one thing very well: fall down.
Comments
It's entirely the wrong time to ban salvia.Not before Hillary can use it.
As an excuse to fall down.
I am against a salvia ban from a purely Darwinian perspective.
Seriously, this drug could single-handedly kill more idiots than even the most aggressive eugenics program ever could.
Let it work its course.
This is just like the time I smoked oregano with some guidos and we had group calamari.
"[redacted] does not know he will soon face an intervention ..."
@scroll_lock: AMAZING!!!!!!
@scroll_lock: I mean, really. My first laugh of the morning. Thank you.
@WackoJacko: It was a tad rubbery, though.
@WackoJacko: My pleasure!
Another side effect seems to be having your friends laugh at you as your brain struggles to function.
Good times.
I really thought that said "saliva." I'm going back to bed.
The second video comes complete with a child's voice in the background. Lovely!
I must be getting old or something but nothing about that drug looks even remotely fun.
I'm sorry, but banning saliva is obviously a pet project of the bottled water industry.
@Sarcastro: And saliva's version of coca fields look like those little sinks dentists have you spit into.
@TheHonJudgeSmails: Three generations of imbeciles are enough.
Case number one: what is wrong with having a psychedelic experience?
Case number two: Why are these politicos watching YouTube at work? I can't get YouTube at work, and all I do is marketing...
From further down in the article...
"Another state lawmaker wants to ban public urination.
'While many think that it is illegal to urinate in public, in actuality it is the indecent exposure of the potential perpetrator that subjects such individual to an arrest', states a bill memo drafted by Republican assemblyman, David Townsend, who represents a district in Oswego County."
Who knew?
What? No love for jenkem?
Fuck salvia. It turns you into a terrified retard for 5 minutes. It is hilarious to watch your friends do it though.
First salvia, then public urination... if they ban rhinotillexis next I'll have nothing to do on the weekends.
@Sarcastro: Ditto. I was thinking, "Bitches better be smoking they own saliva. Why they ain't up in arms about smoking other people's saliva?"
First, they came for the saliva consumers, but I did not speak up as I have a terrifying endocrine dysfunction ...
I am glad to see that our legislators are watching YouTube...
Ok, first, what the hell is salvia?
I Salvia'd and I can't get it up.
5 minute highs? Is it for people who want to get really fucked up on thier lunch break? Because I'm one of those people.
@ronaldpagan: or 30 seconds. either way...
I heard that Ted Hughes smoked Sylvia.
@BalknChain: It's a plant with purple spiky flowers on it, I've got some in my garden. Wanna get pollinated this weekend?
The t-shirts speak volumes.
@famousauthor: I know, the little gay boys lipsynching Madonna and Mariah better be on alert. Their ban is next. Before we know it, kittens won't be allowed to do cute things on camera anymore.
i will salive!
Can't watch video, due to stupidity of those involved, to watch would encourage behavior, so I'll boycott, lest smoking used tampons becomes next craze. Thank you. No.
West siiiiide!
It's a fifteen minute nightmare. I thought I was microscopic and trapped in white goo. Serious - I'm not trying to make a Tom Cruise joke or anything.
I don't understand. If you want to go and fuck your brain up (which I doubt it does), and you don't affect anyone but yourself...why the fuck is someone else allowed to tell you not to do it. That being said..salvia is wack, I've done it more than once and haven't done it since I was like 18. Its worth the experience but it's not like you want to go out and do salvia all day, it makes you feel quite uncomfortable for the 3 minutes you're tripping on it.
The people in the first video sound Canadian....!
@ronaldpagan: I am far too old to try anything like this, but I did anyway. Sat in a chair with my arms gripping my legs for 5 minutes too afraid to move. Great fun! Ban this shit and legalize marijuana. (Think of the taxes, Smails. They could half-way retire the federal debt.)
Salvia
The shadow you see
moving in the dark
in the house
on the hill
in your mind
don't turn around
I'm not there
just a warm breath
through you hair
in the house
on the hill
in your mind
a step out of reach
but a few moments
ahead in time
in the house
on the hill
in your mind
do not try to find me
do not ruin our time
in the house
on the hill
in your mind
@Sarcastro: I thought that's what it said until I read your comment. I'm dumb today.
@scroll_lock: I love it when you talk dirty purple flowers to me :)
@BalknChain: The best part is, they're HUGE! HI-YO!
And here I'v just been using div to make really awesome mojitos.
Some of those dislexics will make a drug out of anything. Just you wait — they'll be snorting urnie next.
Back in my high school days, we just brained each other with rebar, scrimshaw, and sacks of door knobs. The door knobs were the gnarliest, man.
@DaveJ: Well, yeah, the shit makes non-"urban" people go out and buy urban label t-shirts. Truly terrifying.
@DaveJ: IF Tupac were dead, he'd be rolling over in his grave right now.
But since he's alive, he's probably just sparking up another hit of salvia.
ye philistines do not mock the ego death of the salvia godess. enlighten you it will. ok, I was terrified too.
I have no opinion until I find out what Woody Harrelson thinks of this.
@Mark Graham: I've lived in Oswego county. The county itself can use a bit of public urination, to cut back all the weeds and brush.
@miasma-protege: Bad. But good. Pretty good.
That's precious. They even have their kids around while doing drugs!
@Sarcastro: @fiveinchtaint: Oh, thank God it wasn't just me! I kept thinking, can you really smoke saliva? What am I missing here?
@Sarcastro: You're a better man than I. I never would have admitted it first.
Stick with the jenkem, kids.
@LeGagneur: Keep the drugs legal and pass a law requiring potential parents to get licenses, thank you.
@miasma-protege: You sir, are on the plath to enlightenment!
that was absolutely the most boring trip I have ever witnessed. If you are going to trip on something, you should be forced to do something exciting. Anything. But rolling around on the ground does nothing for me.
Maybe they should be forced to do their best Perez Hilton impression.
i don't practice salvia
i ain't got no crystal ball...
@Nard38: Dynamite. I'd love to see a judge-off between Smails, Mathis, and Oliver Wendall Holmes.
Kids these days.
When I was young all we had was a pile of angel dust, a sheet of window pane and a bottle of gin with which to get funky. And we liked it that way.
Salvia means sage in Italian. As in cooking herb.
@mercergal: so I can just smoke up the contents of my kitchen cabinets?
Groovy.
i read this as banning "saliva" and thought "good luck, that'll never work."
[www.visit4info.com]
So, I like just sold all my weed stock and bought salvia.