Radar's Chris Tennant's forthcoming book, the Official Filthy Rich Handbook, cheekily offers advice for "the best zip codes" and "majordomos vs. butlers," etc. Well, it's been a few years since the hipster and preppy handbooks came out, and The Hollywood Assistants Handbook just landed on our desk, so it looks like the market is right for handbooks right now! (People like being told what to do.) Tom Wolfe blurbs, rather ostentatiously, that "Tennant seems to know la dolce vita Americana billionara, every sweet morsel of it." Yet he chose a nice Midwestern girl to model the part of "the Heiress" inside the book—none other than Star talking head Julia Allison. She's not filthy rich (she makes only six figures a year), nor is she an heiress. But the book isn't meant for the growing class of newly rich, obviously, but to the aspirational and slack-jawed yokels among us. So in that case, maybe the choice of Allison is entirely appropriate. Click the image to gawk.

11:20 AM on Thu May 8 2008
By Sheila
4,726 views
36 comments

Comments

TheHonJudgeSmails at 11:27 AM on 05/08/08
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Who, exactly, would buy this book?
Priam at 11:27 AM on 05/08/08
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Cotton, tobacco, and molasses.
Oface at 11:30 AM on 05/08/08
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*blink blink*

And she was on VH1 the other night. Talking about hotties from the 90's.
pureblarney at 11:31 AM on 05/08/08
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Ewwww. Julia Allison. Do not want.
JudgeFudge at 11:32 AM on 05/08/08
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Maybe if Bergdorf's opened up a branch of Urban Outfitters in one of their stores, this might sell well on their miscelaneous table, right next to the Weed Ice-cube trays and the "stick your dick in this book" book.
hamburgerhotdog at 11:32 AM on 05/08/08
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@Oface: I saw that! Her extensions were creepy looking.
TheHonJudgeSmails at 11:33 AM on 05/08/08
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@Oface: Seems appropriate.
lawyergay at 11:34 AM on 05/08/08
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This grudgingly anticipated book will be a smashing failure.
blogissuchanuglyword at 11:39 AM on 05/08/08
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she is the only person, ever, who can be annoying in a scanned black and white photo.
KarenUhOh at 11:42 AM on 05/08/08
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What depresses me most about Julia is that she no longer dispenses gumballs when I fire a nickel into her mouth.
VirusWithShoes at 11:42 AM on 05/08/08
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Her throat looks like an elephant's trunk in that photo.
nottobeconfusedwith at 11:50 AM on 05/08/08
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@KarenUhOh: She looks like she's about to dispense a Pez.
Nard38 at 11:52 AM on 05/08/08
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@VirusWithShoes: Well, just before that photo was snapped, she had gotten the hind quarters of the guinea pig into her mouth, "V" style.
ShrugsAndKisses at 11:52 AM on 05/08/08
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The person who put the line "People No One Admits They Were Friends With" right next to JA is my new hero.
tracyflick at 11:55 AM on 05/08/08
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Wait. Is this the book she was Twittering about the other day when she said she was going to get Denton to host a book party for/with her?

[twitter.com]
Swifter at 11:56 AM on 05/08/08
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Do you guys at Gawker share out the opportunity for Julia Allison posts, since each is guaranteed a couple thousand pageviews, or do you all independently compete for the latest Julia Allison tidbit to feed your ever growing appetite for excess?
Doolittle at 11:58 AM on 05/08/08
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Louboutins? I don't believe I've seen anything but Steve Maddens.
Our Lady of the Massacre at 11:59 AM on 05/08/08
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"Only" six figures? Only?
hamburgerhotdog at 12:07 PM on 05/08/08
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Dress by: Strawberry
Shoes by: Steve Madden
Handbag: Free from a dude who thought he might get some in exchange for leather goods
Earrings: swiped during a photo shoot

If she's a heiress than the only thing she's come into is misfortune.
skiingtheK12 at 12:09 PM on 05/08/08
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JA or no, I can't see how this book could remotely offer anything more than the Official Preppy Handbook did more than twenty years ago. To this day, I still refer to it when I need to know how to work a duck motif into my decor. Also, no self-respecting preppy "Mummy" would let her daughter carry on with a South American fiance, even if he was a "banker" with a direct connection to an emerald cartel. Kids these days...
Oface at 12:16 PM on 05/08/08
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@hamburgerhotdog: I KNOW!! And that voice! Gag. At least Heather Tatters was on there. She redeemed the show.
PickleTitsTurner at 12:29 PM on 05/08/08
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Watch out for my handbook. It's a response to all these sorts of handbooks. Let's just say that the working title is "Little Red Handbook."
pureblarney at 12:37 PM on 05/08/08
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@KarenUhOh: You made me guffah most joyously. Twenty points to Gryffindor.
KimGordonsPanties at 12:43 PM on 05/08/08
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You know I actually recently decided that I do not hate this woman, but I just wish she had a different expression than, well, that one right there, you know, the waiting for a facial face.
NeverEnough at 01:06 PM on 05/08/08
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@KimGordonsPanties: "waiting for a facial face" I love you for that.
winniecooper at 01:14 PM on 05/08/08
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I think Gawker likes to have Julia Allison as it's crusty scab on their elbow. They pick, pick, pick and just never leave it alone. And it never, ever goes away.
hypocriteoath at 01:21 PM on 05/08/08
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5 ct Engagement ring on the right hand means she already called the wedding off but kept the ring. I don't know if a heiress would do that per se but she-who-shall-not-be-named sure might. Accurate in one context, just not the one the book is predicated upon.
EvidenceOfAbsence at 01:32 PM on 05/08/08
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Okay, so that's the Heiress. But what you call people who tuck their jeans into L.L. Bean duck boots?
Mike_Jahn at 01:38 PM on 05/08/08
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@KarenUhOh: HA!
krucoff at 02:05 PM on 05/08/08
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INSIDER GOSSIP: Last night at Greg Gutfeld's Red Eye party at the Bowery Wine Club (if you didn't shoot yourself 15 words ago, now's a good time), Chris Tennant told me he was launching a Bellport blog this summer.

Or maybe that's just what I wanted to hear. Either way, the class war is on. Don't fuck with the Napeague Greasers.
Tammany_Fall at 02:07 PM on 05/08/08
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Do all these people have to pay Lisa Birnbach royalties? Because they just use her template, over and over and over ...
nyphotog at 02:19 PM on 05/08/08
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Julia Allison must have some memory-fogging field around her, because every day you write something about her, and every day I have no idea who she is. Weird.
DorothyMantooth at 02:27 PM on 05/08/08
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@hypocriteoath: Not only is the supposed "engagement ring" on the wrong hand, that Judith Lieber clutch appears to be a Chanel.
Tsk!
KimGordonsPanties at 02:37 PM on 05/08/08
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@NeverEnough: thanks!
Dolomite at 07:03 PM on 05/08/08
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You know, I liked her a lot better when all I saw was her rack.
GeorgetownAvenger at 10:46 AM on 05/09/08
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Who's Julia Allison? Oh, that's the nutty Gawker project: fabricate a hologram of bad hair extensions and cheap pearls, add in pure Freudian drive--AMBITION--a propensity for dishonesty--"my parents have disowned me!-- and a heart made of shards of glass and dust. See if the project can garner a wee bit of attention in this post Paris world. Got it. I'll try to remember. Promise.