You win, Richard.

Sorry, but nobody's beating that. Game over before it's begun.

***squelch****squelch****squelch****ahhhhhh.

Ok..I'll guess the poppers are in the right hand.

[slow clap] for Richard.

I closed the Stoli Hotel one night. It wasn't pretty.

"See, it's called a double-ended dildo... Wanna try?"

Two what? I DON'T GET IT.

@moff: Handlebars, I think.

And I put the broomhandle in like this!

"Actually, I Rode My Bike to the Circle Jerk."

Oh yeah?! Why don't you get off your invisible Segue and say that to my face!

@fiveinchtaint: Huh. I think it would be cooler if he just held on to one a time, then, but what do I know?

"And I was so mad they never had a name plate that said Chace! Always Christine, Chantal, Chelsea..."

"So then the midget gets on the mini tricycle and rides over to ME! And I'm like 'Hey bud, I'm not into that,' but I was, like, really drunk..."

"And that's how I broke two cocks at the same time"

"...But why is it called Space Docking?"

Goodness, Richard. Between this and the earlier link to the Olsen twins Western, you're on fire. Did you take pot this morning?

"I Hoped 'Getting My Hand Stamped' Was Going to Mean Something Else."

"So there I was, mowing this CW network exec's Lawn, when he invites me into his poolhouse for some lemonade ..."

"It's called, 'The A-wrist-ocrats.'"

"Yeah, it's called 'The San Francisco Stranger'."

"Sure, a hotel can be made of vodka. You see, when you take two molecules and bind them like so..."

"Dude, I You're Gonna Dance, At Least Give Us the Overbite."

Shit.

And that, my friend, is how I beat up Verne Troyer."

"And then I flipped over my handlebars and ended my gymanastics career."

Gael Garcia Bernal Wistfully Reenacts His Role in The Motorcycle Diaries To Homeless Man Distracted By Prospect of Scoring a Room for the Night

@She Blinded Me With Omniscience: Okay, what the HELL is going on here?

"But Isn't This Sign Language for 'Gemini'?"

And that's what it looks like when two bottoms have sex . . .

Chace Crawford Describes the Push-the-Network-Exec's-Head-Down Technique That Landed Him His First Role

Shades of Gay.

Too much pretty for one photograph - does not compute!

@In Other News...: You inspired me to come back. Now I'm probably doomed to my prior Open Caption addiction...

@Obviously Not Omniscient: Well I love you too!!! :-)