"Shut up, Brooklyn!"

From henceforth, Ace shall be called Snack Daddy.

"LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLA I CAN'T HEAR YOU"

I think John Brown, also-ran in The White Rapper Show said it best...

GHETTO REVIVAL!

...but the Ghetto doesn't love me. Indigestion!"

Oh, so they've all been shot. Cool.

Can someone mug these kids for me?

If only they actually shot them.

OT: Doree is on NPR, right now, re: postcards from your momma.

The couple in the middle seems like nice, regular kids. The other two should be slapped about the head and neck areas, repeatedly, for a long, long time.

@Sarcastro: Or with me. I'll meet you at the corner of Greene and Wyckoff around 10.

I used to live around there. There were live chickens in the streets.

Next can they explain why they all have such stupid names?

I'd consider a move to Bushwick, but not if it's 20 degrees colder there than the rest of the city.

"Are you taking my picture? I'm so glassily hip I don't even know what that means. My uncle's a unicorn and I came out of my mother's wee-wee."

(1 and 3 only, 2 do seem like normal, badly dressed citizens)

I bet Margaret Seltzer is Royal's hero.

@Sarcastro: I'll bring a sock full of nickels and some barbecue sauce.

I'm sorry but there is nothing normal about middle dude's jacket. Or hat. Or shirt. Or jeans. Or shoes. It's time for him to dress like an adult. Haven't you people ever heard of Vineyard Vines?

It doesn't count when you purchase your fake ghettowear from Urban Outfitters.

You know who doesn't love the ghetto? People who actually have to live there.

I hate poverty tourists/fetishists.

It's fucking demeaning.

These are the times I'm glad to live in Boston: land of horseys on your shirts, topsiders and pastels.

What the fuck.

"Royal" deserves a drive-by.

@dontchuknow: Royal, Ace and Ariel (for a dude?) I better not hear any complain about the names black women give their kids ever again. And I'll raise you a Pilot Inspektor.

@DonPardoCalrissian: Royal gets it first, OK?

@frobisher: total Snack Daddy! Good one.

@roodles: Hipsters go by given names? I just figured that they were giving out silly fake names because it gave them giggles.

"I enjoy the ghetto for the reasons that people who live in the ghetto enjoy the ghetto: hopelessness. Hopelessness fuels me. It infiltrates everything I do--you think a hopeful guy could ever create mathrock with a band called The Autistics? You think a hopeful guy could ever do self-scarrification of Osama--wait, Obama's--face--on his forearm? You think a hopeful guy could ever wear a bandana stained with the menstrual blood of his girlfriend? No. Wait. No. He couldn't. Yeah."

Bushwick Street Style: Home of the Manchild.

@PickleTitsTurner: They love the ghetto, because they can pick-up and leave any time they want.

I wonder what Royal raps about. Cigarettes? Asexuality? Tingly feet from lack of blood flow?

a few months ago we used a model who lived in bushwick. he looked very similar to these jokes and used to carry the same super-shiny AA gym bag everyday, everywhere. One day he came in with two black eyes and no gym bag. Turns out he got mugged by two 13-year-old boys on his way home that previous night. then he took up skateboarding so that "no one could catch him". A few weeks later he moved back to his parents house on long island. sigh...

White people who love the ghetto usually grow up in upper middle class suburbs.
Where it says "Shot him/Shot Them," please tell me that you really did shoot them...

@roodles: Hands down, the best name ever is King Money Tarzan Jenkins. I am crapping you negative:

[www.metro.co.uk]

The first one who decides to call it Bushwick Heights gets a razor blade slash to the spleen.

@Sarcastro: ...knock him upside the Unabomber motherfucker ghetto romantic bullshit...

UGLY Brooklyn!

Ace and Royal? Are these Bushwick family names of some kind?

It's like there's an exchange program between Knickerbocker Avenue and Hampshire.

Could we exile these neighborhood-specific website and/or magazine people to tiny remote island somewhere?

They could report on it for the rest of their lives. Until they are eaten by the gigantic bugs which also live there.

I'm surprised that guy on the left isn't drinking from a sippy cup.

@KimGordonsPanties: The wife is named Candida, like a vaginal infection. Best couple ever.

@Spirit Fingers: I thought it was called East Williamsburg?

Royal, with cheese.

A few things...

1. Everyone that lives in Bushwick don't like in the Mckrappy lofts [I just left Bushwick and had two normal places of residence.]

2. Those lofts are in East Williamsburg. I lived off of the next stop over Jefferson. That, my friends, is where Bushwick begins.

3. Please do not give BushwickBK.com any more publicity. The guy who owns it is a 'locals' hating douche.

4. I'm pissed at asshats like #1 and #2 for giving my borough of origin a bad name.

5. This is all why I did the unthinkable and moved to Queens.

@andheartss: Amen!

@PickleTitsTurner: Can we make this message automatically pop up at the end of every post about gentrification and or hipster asstards? Because it needs to.

Young white people of New York, you are making it very hard to love you.

@xhack: I saw a girl wearing that exact outfit at a Bushwick party last weekend.

@xhack: That's going way too far. Boston still sucks.

@scribbles: Gary Shtengyart coined it

Love the ghetto, eh? Try International at Seminary in Oakland, kids. I'm sure they'd love to hear Royal's "rap".

@Clarence Rosario: I've always wanted to take a busload of Royals and drop them off in Detroit, to the same end.

I saw a guy on the Q this week who was wearing an old Nintendo game controller as a belt buckle. It actually pissed me off it was so stupid (plus, it drew my eye to his crotch. ow. eyes. ow.)

Maybe if you stopped writing about bushwick it would go away. I'm calling for a moratorium on posts regarding the neighborhood that shall not be named.

@CodePink: So lovely, that was.

Arial isn't wearing socks?

I don't ever want to hear about Kansas from you people again.

@minou: You don't need to go that far. South Bronx will do.