Gawker
Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton has revealed his inevitable-in-hindsight line of t-shirts and bags and shit. It's no surprise that he likes pink. Oh, and look! Edgy things like pistols and the words "Gossip Gangster" emblazoned on hoodies and t-shirts! Also, some sort of death kitten rainbow. Plus, of course, his name. Who doesn't want to tell the world, loud and proud, that they read Perez Hilton?? The line, to be sold at upscale Hot Topic stores across the nation, will surely be popular among angry anime girls and flood victims. Click after the jump for close-ups of some of the precious garments.
Dali's "Death Kitty Gossip Gun"
The Max has exploded.
"I'm sorry m'am, but you can't bring that on the plane." "Why, because of the gun?" "No, because it's ugly."
All photos from WENN
Comments
Vomitrocious.
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Somewhere in the world the 1980's is sitting in a corner, crying and wishing it never existed.
No.
Wait. I knew about this a month ago, but I didn't think it'd actually be 'news' when it was announced.
SanRio on coke.
Some Cambodian was paid two cents to make these and felt obligated to refund his wages.
@HeyThatsMyBike: It's Lisa Frank finally coming out the closet.
Second closeup picture, blue shirt on the left: Are those actual sunglasses hanging from the neck, or are they an image of sunglasses printed onto the shirt? Because if it's the latter, that's kind of awesome.
But the rest of it sucks as obviously as expected.
1. he is trying to make neon pink Kanye sunglasses happen. they will/should not.
2. where are the white microsoft paint cocaine/semen spatterings?
So is that the result of when Hello Kitty barfs and has diarrhea at the same time?
Life has been a blank until now.
No Unicorns?!?!?! He is straight!
I can totally see Paula Poundstone rocking that second ensemble.
hipster: You got your emo in my hipster!
emo: You got your hipster in my emo!
tegether: Heeeey....
voicover: Now introducing the Himo clothing line.
This is like shooting gay, fat, insufferable fish in a barrel.
@contradicto: You're right. Can I be the first to call fashion plagiarism? Lisa Frank should be EFFING PISSED right about now.
This is really going to make Hot Topic look classless.
Little known fact: These garments are an abortifascient.
FUN!
Fuck.
I can wait for the cologne.
@Contemptster:
Haha
@Conbon: They sell those on St. Mark's Place. They sell replicas of all this shit on St. Mark's Place, actually.
This looks like how getting punched in the balls by Duckie from "Pretty in Pink" feels.
my eyes!....MY EYES!
Sigh.
Are those bookcovers for the kiddies, too? And a sticker book? Where's the lunchbox with the huge pink phallic shaped thermos? Gotta have a place to store all that splooge. I notice he doesn't have his fat ass plastered in those electric blue pants, either.
Butt Trumpet has, prescient as ever, spoken extensively on the inspiration for this line:
I'm only fifteen and I got a gun
Mommy and daddy had better run
I'm only fifteen and I got a gun
Time to go out and shoot a nun
Cold...hard...steel...pink!
@Contemptster:
Paula Poundstone's drinking again??
It looks like it's ready for ugly Brooklyn.
@tell Dolly Parton again: The sunglasses or a shirt with sunglasses printed on them?
The thing I love about PH is that he is devoid of any deeper meaning. No importance can be read into his opinions or anything he says or does. He exists in irrelevance; a product of our age.
Snnnnooooorttttt!!! Ahhhhh.
@Sarcastro: Ha.
Re: PH's insufferably smug pose with his wares, I think Shelley said it best--"Look upon my works, ye Mighty, and despair"
He's turned irrelevance into celebrity.
Oh, so that's where Walmart got rid of all the chemical-burn flip-flops.
"Look at the shit I found in my kid sister's closet."
Captain Murphy: It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!
First, there was peak oil. Then, we started rationing bags of rice. Then we ran out of ironic thrift-store T-shirts, and had to give Perez Hilton his own clothing line.
Dire times, people. Dire times.
Those clothes just kicked my eyes in the gut.
@CodePink: Ha, I was going to say it looks like Jeff Goldblum got into the teleportation pod from the Fly with a Swatch watch.
WOW. Merchandise so atrocious that even Hot Topic employees will feel embarrassed. That 's quite a feat, P*r*z.
Perhaps he's too young to really remember the '80s and how horrifying it all was, but that's just not a freaking excuse.
Besides, MTV called; they want all these Martha Quinn wardrobe items back, immediately.
@Conbon: I've seen a tee that has an iPod, including cord, on it. It's kinda cool.
Something ain't right here. Actually, nothing at all is right.
Actually, that's exactly what the Manson Family were wearing when they robbed the Spencer Gifts.
I had those hot pink jeans in 1983. Which is where they belong. I know someone who works at Hot Topic and it makes me laugh that she is going to have to shill this shit and possibly even wear it. In other news, I once had the misfortune of working with PH and he was every bit the douche you can imagine. Made even more clearer by this shiteous 'clothing line.'
@BullfightsOnAcid: That's IT! Perez Hilton is on Stimutax!
Thankfully, I haven't been in a Hot Topic in about twelve years. I will be able to avoid this trash. Yay!
Soon to be sold at a mall kiosk by a gum-snapping teenager.
Richard, this screams "photo contest"! First person to send in or post a pic of a stranger wearing any of these items wins nothing.
Alas, I am not surprised.
He is the pinnacle afterall, of subtle, understated, top drawer taste.
I wanna see him model it.
It looks like Pete Wentz exploded.
i think it's just merchandised wrong. for example, take the fluorescent pink pants with the bright blue shirt, those red and black striped socks and feature that skull journal in your left hand while you sit emotionally on the subway and really, thats a beautiful outfit made by a beautiful man
@KarenUhOh: oh. ma. gah.
Mr. Hilton,
Please re-veil these.
Thanks.
Sincerely,
My Eyes
i believe it is actually "gossip gangstar." please don't ask me how i know this.
You, sir, are no Lisa Frank.
@KarenUhOh: Spencer's! Nice.
I think SJP wore that outfit on the left in some movie.
To be sold next to the lighter fluid and Duraflame (TM) Logs.
@fiveinchtaint: She wore it on Girls Just Want to Have Fun
You had me at "death kitten rainbow."
To paraphrase P. J. O'Rourke, some things truly are better imagined than found on your sweatshirt.
@contradicto: I knew that but didn't want to be the one to say it.
Dancing in heaven. I never thought...
He's Willy Wonka's little gay brother.