Ringtones, campaigns, god damn america, phones, politics, slate, walnuts

Is Your Ringtone Annoying Enough? No? Replace it With Hillary Clinton!

Do you hate everyone around you? If so, you may wish to download one of Slate's political ringtones. No, seriously. This is what they're doing. Ringtones made of soundbytes taken from the never-ending 2008 primary elections. Like Hillary's odd laugh, John McCain calling someone a jerk, and "Yes We Can!" If you download these to your phone, you will get beaten up. But! They forgot a couple! Like, all the good ones, basically. Allow us:

Walnuts!
God DAMN America
45 seconds of Mike Gravel not saying anything.
"Heidi Montag is a very talented actress."
"Hill-Rod"
"Can I ask you about your, uh... why you're so angry?"

We'd link to downloadable mp3s of those classic moments, but we really don't want anyone to actually have "political ringtones." Except "God DAMN America," that one's awesome.

6:03 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Pareene
2,289 views
13 comments

Comments

richardmarxhatesmyhair at 06:09 PM on 05/08/08
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"Politics Never Sleeps, Hillary!"
Obviously Not Omniscient at 06:12 PM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 170

"I can no more disown him than I can my white grandmother"
Obviously Not Omniscient at 06:13 PM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 170

"They cling to guns, religion, and an antipathy towards those not like them"
valarmorghulis at 06:28 PM on 05/08/08
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God DAMN America is now my ringtone, thank you.
Colonel Mustard at 06:35 PM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 301

"Someone fetch a constable and help prise me loose from this confounded bathtub!"

-- W.H. Taft
lawyergay at 06:40 PM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 201

I am conflicted about this "Walnuts!" incident. While I have no doubt that I would immediately apply for Luxembourgian citizenship if McCain were elected in November, I'm also equally sure that if I ever got to know Cindy McCain, I would probably wholeheartedly agree with her husband that she slathers on the makeup like a trollop and is also a cunt.
rosaluxembourgeoise at 07:00 PM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 200

"And if you had a white friend, he'd be clappin' like this, y'all!" is what I hear when you press the doorbell.
Flashman at 07:10 PM on 05/08/08
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"All balloons! There's nothing falling!
What the fuck are you guys doing up there?!"
Flashman at 07:11 PM on 05/08/08
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"Yeeeeargh"

('04 had way better sound bites)
Dave J. at 07:40 PM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 95

Here's one I'd love to have, if I could only figure out how to extract video from the YouTubes.

From Curb Your Enthusiasm: "Barack Obama, motherfucker!"

+ Watch video
Dave J. at 07:40 PM on 05/08/08
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Connectedness Index: 95

@Dave J.: Er, extract audio from the YouTubes. Whatever.
Max Silvestri at 10:28 AM on 05/09/08
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I totally had this idea months ago: Hillary Clintones.

+ Watch video
.
max at 04:06 PM on 05/09/08
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WTF? Someone post a GOD DAMN AMERICA mp3 already.