Grand Theft Auto, controversies, entertainment, journalismism, media, morality, politics, religion...

Moralists Decry Video Game Without Playing It

The Parents Television Council—the shrill right-wing arbiter of entertainment morality last seen reprimanding companies for associating with rappers—is now busy condemning the brilliant, violent, and controversial new video game Grand Theft Auto IV. Unfortunately for the forces of purity, the Council decided to do its condemning primarily by making things up:

The group's director of public policy, Dan Isett, had this exchange with a reporter:

Have you played the game?
"I've actually played 'Grand Theft Auto IV,' and it's right in keeping with previous versions. The series continues to lower the bar and this is the first game that has an alcohol content warning. You get points for driving drunk in this game."

You know that's not true, right? The game doesn't have points.

"If nothing else, it's a rewarded activity. Necessary for advancement."

I don't think so.

"But there's an alcohol content warning and a scene of drunk driving, correct?"

Yes. Did you play that part?

"No, no. I didn't get that far."

Well, get back to us when you've played it, Dan! It should't be hard; he says he has a Wii. Clean fun!

[via BoingBoing]

1:17 PM on Fri May 9 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
2,344 views
34 comments

Comments

Obviously Not Omniscient at 01:23 PM on 05/09/08
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Connectedness Index: 170

Moralist Decries Post About Video Game Without Reading It
TheHonJudgeSmails at 01:24 PM on 05/09/08
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You get points for drunk driving in real life, too.
CodePink at 01:25 PM on 05/09/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails:I get a gold star for riding my bicycle high.
fiveinchtaint at 01:29 PM on 05/09/08
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Dan Isett also thinks Pink Floyd is a person.
DorothyMantooth at 01:30 PM on 05/09/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails: And for blocking the box!
That's gotta be a euphemism for something in GTA4, no?
luciluce666 at 01:31 PM on 05/09/08
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I'll give you 10 extra points for taking out cripples!
DorothyMantooth at 01:31 PM on 05/09/08
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@fiveinchtaint: And judging solely by his monicker, he most certainly does not approve of Floyd's lifestyle.
BullfightsOnAcid at 01:31 PM on 05/09/08
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@CodePink: You haven't lived life until you've gone huffing on a segway.
TheHonJudgeSmails at 01:31 PM on 05/09/08
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@DorothyMantooth: It's when some steakhead gets between me and Kiki, the love of my life.
Phyllis Nefler at 01:31 PM on 05/09/08
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I'm still stuck on like, the fourth mission. And Michelle's phone keeps going to voicemail! Maybe I need to drink more.
luciluce666 at 01:33 PM on 05/09/08
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@BullfightsOnAcid: Or salvia on a scooter. (35X)!
DorothyMantooth at 01:35 PM on 05/09/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails: Have I met her in the strip club already, or is she a special surprise I should be on the lookout for?
fiveinchtaint at 01:35 PM on 05/09/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails: Sandy Cohen? Is that you?
fiveinchtaint at 01:37 PM on 05/09/08
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@DorothyMantooth: I brought Michelle to the strip club. It was a non-event, unfortunately.

@Phyllis Nefler: You must be calling her at 3am you crazy night owl.
In Other News... at 01:42 PM on 05/09/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails: Brilliant.
TheHonJudgeSmails at 01:43 PM on 05/09/08
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@DorothyMantooth: Kiki is a girl you can meet on the internet. She's a lawyer. If you bed her down, she can work with the D.A. and get your wanted level zeroed out.

I'm not kidding. This game rules.
In Other News... at 01:43 PM on 05/09/08
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When Dan Isett plays GTA4, does he do it with a face that says, "EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW! DIRTY! FILTHY!"?
nyphotog at 01:46 PM on 05/09/08
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I'm trying so hard to finish GTA I. I can't strafe for shit. Are the hookers any better in GTA IV?
DorothyMantooth at 01:47 PM on 05/09/08
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@fiveinchtaint: Weak! Was that before or after the fifth time she "listened" to you?

@TheHonJudgeSmails: That. Is. Awesome.
Guess what I'm doing all weekend long?
DorothyMantooth at 01:48 PM on 05/09/08
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@nyphotog: GTA1 is nothing like the GTA4. Leave that shit alone and start playing this one. Foreal.
Phyllis Nefler at 01:49 PM on 05/09/08
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@fiveinchtaint: Funny you should say that - the one time I did call her at 3am, she woke up and yelled at me for calling!
fiveinchtaint at 01:50 PM on 05/09/08
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@TheHonJudgeSmails: Oh damn - I just found the internet cafe the other night. I clicked "date" on one of them but haven't gotten any emails yet. This is supposed to be fantasy, not real life!

@DorothyMantooth: I think my relationship with her is going to take a nasty turn very soon.
DorothyMantooth at 01:59 PM on 05/09/08
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@fiveinchtaint: Would it be disturbing to everyone if I admitted that I really hope you get to kill her?
It's been ages since I've played GTA, so I'm really relishing the random killings aspect of it right now.
HamptonShmampton at 02:01 PM on 05/09/08
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This parallels their opinions on sexuality.
Mike_Jahn at 02:19 PM on 05/09/08
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The Parents Television Council writes reviews for Maxim?
famousauthor at 02:24 PM on 05/09/08
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What this world really needs are a few more shrill arbiters.
ChromiumSwitch at 02:38 PM on 05/09/08
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GTA 4 is so fucking cool. I'm not a big gamer but I was really impressed. It really works as a compressed, jumbled New York- every couple blocks, you go "Hey, I live near here."

The best part was that shit cars, like SUV's and ambulances, handle really badly, but good ones (like police cars, which you can totally steal, which is like so fucking cool) are awesome.

(OK, I would have posted this on Gizmodo but I can't spell in Binary. Sue me.)
Knucklehead Babylon at 02:38 PM on 05/09/08
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The Parents Television Council also blames the multi-colored ghosts in "Ms. Pacman" for presenting a dangerously un-Christian view of the afterlife.
HamptonShmampton at 02:59 PM on 05/09/08
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@ChromiumSwitch: sooo....where have you been??
katekate at 03:23 PM on 05/09/08
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What actually happened was his wife caught him killing the hooker in the game to get his money back, but he had to tell her it was for "research purposes."
DonPardoCalrissian at 03:31 PM on 05/09/08
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I love it and think everyone should be forced to play it but I haven't played it either. So I cancel him out. You're welcome.
Priam at 04:24 PM on 05/09/08
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@luciluce666:

+ Watch video
Priam at 04:25 PM on 05/09/08
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@luciluce666: This is actually what I was looking for. Should have gone to the next page.

+ Watch video
DigitalVersicolor at 05:10 AM on 05/10/08
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I can understand parents not wanting their kids to play it, it teaches them that bad things are cool (which they are) . A simple solution to making it inaccessible to the kiddos is to NOT BUY IT FOR THEM. Just a thought. GTA 4 is teh alsom, btw.