Sistersville

Nothing to snark on here, folks. Move along.

"Well decorated storefront?" Now they're hinting he's gay?

I was absent for fifth grade. What state is that again?

Perhaps Obama should go the Mr. Show route - as in, "Larry Kleist, rapist" - and have a sign holder following him with the word "CHRISTIAN" and a giant arrow pointing down at all times. Do you think the midwest/south would get it then?

and who is this black jewish pastor i've been seeing on the news? obamas old boyfriend or something?

@Tammany_Fall:
Anbar Province

@Botswana Meat Commission FC: Much obliged. Gee, no wonder they're pissed.

Why, questioning other people's Christianity is just the most Christian thing in the world, isn't it?

@Tammany_Fall: @Botswana Meat Commission FC:
I thought for sure it was either Colorado or Wyoming.

West Virginia should be nuked and paved over. What a fetid shithole.

@Obviously Not Omniscient: Actually, my research suggests it's Staten island.

why does a west virginia politician care about who obama is talking to in wayne, nj anyway?

@allyzay: I thought he meant Bruce Wayne. You know, like Batman. Who is clearly Muslim. (OK, I'll shut up now.)

The women in West Virginia have great 'Summer' teeth - summer here, summer there.

@Obviously Not Omniscient: Or perhaps someone dropped eggs on the kitchen floor again.

@Tammany_Fall: you must be from sisterville

@Tammany_Fall: Nope. You'd never find a place called "Flatwoods" there.

@BullfightsOnAcid: Hee!

I'm convinced there is something seriously wrong with our media when the same operations criticize Obama for being Islamic and then report on the fact that he is not and THEN report on people who still thinnk he's Islamic.

Obviously something is wrong when the people doing the reporting are not getting through to the people they report on.

@SarahHeartburn: Haaa... I just saw that.

Sistersville would be a good place to try out his speech in defense of civil unions.

@Tammany_Fall: if obama wants to be president, everyone knows he has to look aquaman in the eye and tell him he's christian, not batman!

@NeverEnough: Don't you know the song?
Country road
Take me home
to the place
I belong!
West Virginia
Mountain mama
We don't want Obama
Country road

@Shariahpants: "Hey!" said the news media. "Don't ruin our soundbites!"

@Tammany_Fall: I was just thinking the same exact thing. It is dangerous and terrifying how easily I've fallen back into this abyss of common thought.

Any state whose map features a town named after a castrated chicken deserves John McCain.

I just called Bob Pasley's office and informed his assistant (seemed quite nice) that Mr. Obama is a Christian. She told me that she was aware of that. I told her that apparently Mr. Pasley isn't aware of that according to USA Today, so she should definitely let him know. I also encouraged her to tell him to stop talking to the national press because it makes him look stupid.

In case you would like to call Mr. Pasley's office just to make sure he really understands that Obama is a Christian, you can call him at(304) 272-6369.

@In Other News...: Ahahahaha! I had the misfortune of going to West Virginia once. As soon as I crossed the state line my skin felt greasy and I was suddenly sexually attracted to my dad.

@In Other News...: Please disregard. I meant to say that all news is good news, especially when it is broadcast 24 hours a day.

@NeverEnough: boooooo

I was in West Virginia once. I was told, "We like black people, but they're a little bit different than us."

@webothlikesoup: How to win friends in one easy step.

That's funny, but I'm sure it just antagonizes the poor, which leads to revolts.

They have a town that's basically called "Castrated Chicken Bridge."

The fact that they allow West Virginians to vote at all makes me doubt the viability of the democratic electoral system.

Can't we just divert their attention with a free scrapple & eggs dinner until November?

@BullfightsOnAcid: What do you call 32 West Virginians in a room? ...a full set of teeth *cymbal crash*

Mr. Parsley (who USA Today identifies as a county official without mentioning his party affliation but does mention that he's a Christian -- nice "journalism" guys) says that that there Obama feller has "tried to talk about" whether he's a muslim.

Hey Asswipe! He's also written an entire book about it. You know books? Those things you burn when you're making your corn likker?

Dumb fucking hillbilly shitkicker ignorant Klan-belonging fuckhead. Read a fucking book.

@webothlikesoup: Wow, you proactive genius, you. Well done.

@NeverEnough: In Arkansas, he'd also be your granddad.

West Virginia looks to be the melanoma cut off of Virginia.

If Florida is the penis of the United States of America, West Virginia is its genital wart.

It was in Wheeling, WV, where Joe McCarthy announced he had a list of 205 "known members of the Communist Party" in the US government, which catapulted his career. I'm not sure why I thought of that, but I did.

I dunno, give them a break, maybe?

This is the first time since slavery that West Virginia is being refered to as a newsworthy place, and they just want their chance to be "looked in the eye" by presidential types and being told all the cool stuff that other people from other states got to be told while "looked in the eye."

Oh wait, this whole primary thing is sort of in the bag now, isn't it? So, they're really not so important after all.

So, fuck 'm...

Is the town of Hundred (Hunnerd) the maximum population or combined IQ?

@jimbosil: They only ever make the news for coal mine explosions otherwise. But in WV's defense...the Greenbrier is lovely, and the former secret presidential nuke attack bunker there is pretty cool. [www.greenbrier.com]

This really shouldn't surprise me at all, considering that when Kennedy ran for President, he kept questions like IS HE A FUCKING PUPPET OF THE VATICAN OR NOT? all up in his face. Still: horrifying.

@Dickdogfood: "he kept getting questions like" I mean.

@MostlyHarmless:
Q. Why do ducks fly over West Virginia upside down?
A. There's nothing worth crapping on!

Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.

@Obviously Not Omniscient: Thanks. I consider it my duty to pull people aside and let them know when they look retarded. How else will they know?

@BalknChain: No, they're just still scared of the Germans.

Obama needs to adopt a 49 state strategy and leave this one out.

@Dickdogfood: But Kennedy WAS a puppet of the Vatican! Or rather, in that case they got the religion right, at least. Of course Kennedy was also white, so he had that going for him.

@Obviously Not Omniscient: Hot.

@In Other News...: Ha!

"I know he's tried to talk about it but he hasn't looked anybody in Wayne in the eye and told them."

Good point. Until George Bush looks me in the eye and tells me he never lied about Iraq or torture or phone taps or energy policy, I'm afraid I can't believe him.

All the WV humor you'll ever need....by West Virginians for West Virginians.

[www.hillbillyholler.com]

@SW-2: Maybe you thought of it because that's just what the Republicans will do to Obama -- keep calling him a Muslim until everyone in the Charmin States believes it.

@PickleTitsTurner: But it's such a discount-bin for vote buying. Worked for Joe Kennedy back in the day.

@NeverEnough: The whole state's been paved -- Senator Byrd saw to that years ago. The nukes come later.