· Iron Man scores. Looking beneath the big guy's hood. Marvel's ready to make a movie out of anything they can slap a "Man" onto. Crushing Speed Racer into a little cube.
· Picturehouse and Warner Independent, they sleep with the indie fishes. We pick through the wreckage.
· Is Scientology® brand Baby Gruel hindering the development of Hollywood's next generation of disenturbulated superstars?
· Oh Wachowskiiiis...Come out, come out wherever you are!
· Who says Scarlett Johansson can't have it all? She owes it all to her five totally not-perving-on-her dads.
· Sumner Redstone extends a gilded olive branch to Tom Cruise.
· Susan Sarandon just gettin' by on biker tats and speed.
· Lindsay Lohan loses an $11,000 fur and a job in the span of one week, but neither were really hers to begin with.
· Twilight looks better than Lost Boys 2, but both could use a heavy dollop of Haim.
· If Barbara Walters thinks Oprah's heels are hard to maneuver, how did she handle the corset, Bunny ears, and tray?
· A couple resolutions: For Sarah Jessica Parker to shut the fuck up. And for Beverly Hills Chihuahua to hurry up and open already so we can witness a still-beating Chihuahua heart get plucked from the chest of a sacrificial lapdog.
· There's gold nuggets in them thar Hills!
· The wisdom of a John Cusack, Diablo Cody, or Bob Ross isn't all that different than you might think.
· Madonna is just another housewife who didn't figure out she's a lesbian until she hit her 50s.
· "And I'm proud to be an American/Where at least there's bikinis..."
· Gearing up for the Scheisse Video Trial of the Century.
· Team Taco Trucks!

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