Hey fellas! Do all those bubbly broads of yours have super "girls nights out" planned for the much cooed and shrieked about Sex and the City movie? Do you, duhhh, feel left out, like you want some real mantertainment? Well the ultra butch Four Seasons Hotel here in New York has just the right package for you! I mean, "...for you." Nothin' frilly. The "It's Not All About Sex and the City Package" offers such man-centric amenities as one round of "Anything but Cosmos" at the bar (flirtinis are totes available!), free dick flicks like Die Hard and Full Metal Jacket, and nice plush terrycloth bathrobes for you and your buddy. OK, not necessarily that last bit. But yes, I did say buddy. This package is based on double occupancy, but don't worry! There are "double-bedded accommodations," so you won't have to share a bed or even touch or anything. You can just spend all night in your separate cozy beds, watching shit get blown up, farting away your steak dinner, happy that there is absolutely nothing gay about this. And it's only $2,000 a night! Men! I mean, Men. Full package details after the jump.

NEW YORK, May 12 /PRNewswire/ — "Girls Night Out" will take on new meaning when the highly anticipated Sex and the City movie opens on May 30, 2008, leaving guys around the globe struggling to find something to do. To ensure that men don't feel forgotten and left out during the release of this female phenomenon, Four Seasons Hotel New York has introduced a "It's-Not-All-About Sex and the City" package created exclusively for guys and guaranteed to please even the most discerning "Mr. Bigs" out there.

The package is based upon double occupancy and includes:

— One round of "anything but Cosmos" in The Bar
— Steak Dinner in 57 Restaurant*
— Complimentary DVD library featuring Rambo, Die Hard and Full Metal
Jacket
— "Clog Your Arteries" breakfast the following morning in the guestroom
or one of the hotel's dining outlets
— Double-bedded accommodations

The package, offered weekends from May 30 through August 31, 2008, is
priced at $2,000 per evening. Adjoining rooms are available for larger
parties. For information and reservations, please contact the hotel
directly at (212) 758-5700.

An I.M. Pei-designed post-modernist classic, Four Seasons Hotel New
York is quintessentially Manhattan — exemplary of the city's style,
elegance, legendary service and culinary sophistication. The 52-story
building, a Mobil Five Star and AAA Five Diamond property, is the tallest
hotel in New York and features the largest guestrooms in the city.

*dinner is inclusive of tax and gratuity but exclusive of alcohol

Contact: Leslie Lefkowitz
Director of Public Relations
(212) 893-6811

From PR Newswire.

5:19 PM on Mon May 12 2008
By Richard
1,952 views
40 comments

Comments

CodePink at 05:30 PM on 05/12/08
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Free testosterone shots to help prove you're men at the door.
In Other News... at 05:30 PM on 05/12/08
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Well, I was going to go bowling, but fuck it.
flossy at 05:31 PM on 05/12/08
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Yeah, bro. Show me those full package deatils. Mmm. Just like that.
MissBehavior at 05:31 PM on 05/12/08
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"mantertainment". Thank you, Richard.
CaptainHangNail at 05:32 PM on 05/12/08
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But if, ahem, "straight" guys don't watch the SATC movie, how will they form ridiculous and wholly inaccurate notions of how women behave?
flossy at 05:32 PM on 05/12/08
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@flossy: Details. Ugh. Sorry, got caught up in the heat of the moment.
jackvinyl at 05:32 PM on 05/12/08
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"Dick flicks... for you and your buddy"

Since when does that cost $2000?
CaptainFantastic at 05:36 PM on 05/12/08
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Real men already own Rambo, Die Hard, and Full Metal Jacket, and don't allow their women spend money. Pussies.
BeRightBack at 05:36 PM on 05/12/08
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@jackvinyl: When they started to include happy endings.
Multiphasic at 05:36 PM on 05/12/08
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exemplary of the city's style,
elegance, legendary service and culinary sophistication.

This place is elegant, brah. Up high. Hand off my thigh. Okay, leave it.
In Other News... at 05:39 PM on 05/12/08
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@jackvinyl: Or, we can just visit Fleshbot. At our own computers in separate, locked rooms, of course.
In Other News... at 05:39 PM on 05/12/08
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@BeRightBack: I KNEW the press release was missing something. Leslie Lefkowitz, you finicky flack, you!
Matt415 at 05:41 PM on 05/12/08
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If I had any vacation time, and three additional tax stimulus checks, that would be a fabulous weekend for my fellow gays and I
brechtgirl at 05:42 PM on 05/12/08
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so a room runs about $800. Steak Dinner, uhhh let's say $150, drinks: $30, breakfast: $60, DVD: $5. Where does the other $900 come from?

Or am I terribly underestimating?
BullfightsOnAcid at 05:43 PM on 05/12/08
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A real man would take that $2000 buy an 8 Ball, blow the rest at the track and then take out $200 from the ATM to pay for a Thai massage at the end of the night. That's what being a real man is about.
Colonel Mustard at 05:46 PM on 05/12/08
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@brechtgirl: You are totally underestimating the amount spent on drinks at the Four Seasons.

Unless they're only getting one beer to share, but that's kinda gay.
VirusWithShoes at 05:58 PM on 05/12/08
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Real men don't watch movies or stay in hotels - they sit naked at the sides of rivers, smoking tree branches, slamming their balls between rocks while eating raw fish caught by their own ball-slamming hands as their women-folk are out getting girdles or having their toenails waxed by Brazilian accountants. They then journey home atop a grizzly bear, longing for German sausage and some hand-picked potatoes, with their hair still damp from the river and balls still swollen from a day's hard slamming.
VirusWithShoes at 05:58 PM on 05/12/08
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@BullfightsOnAcid: YEAH!
SnarkTwain at 06:06 PM on 05/12/08
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@BullfightsOnAcid: A real man would buy a nice .45, subway fare, and then climb into the tiger pit at the Bronx Zoo to murder some endangered animals. Another $400 goes to a gas grill for the tiger BBQ, then blow the rest on a good bottle of scotch and a hando in a mid grade strip club.
Nard at 06:12 PM on 05/12/08
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A real man would just up and leave Genesis and go record his own fucking rocking-ass tracks like Shock the Monkey while his pussy former bandmates recorded dreary, boring shit and formed bullshit side projects like Mike + The Mechanics !!!
BullfightsOnAcid at 06:14 PM on 05/12/08
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@SnarkTwain: Why spend $400 on a grill when you just buy an axe for $40 go into Central Park, cut up a picnic bench and start a roaring BBQ pit right next to the Alice in Wonderland statues.
CaptainHangNail at 06:27 PM on 05/12/08
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@VirusWithShoes: God I'm so glad I'm not a real man.
SnarkTwain at 06:43 PM on 05/12/08
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@BullfightsOnAcid: agreed. Then eat the mushroom statues and take the axe into a performance of the blueman group. Jump up on stage and starting hacking away in a hallucinogenic light and sound spectacular.

An alternative would be to chop down the 30 Rock christmas tree.
Conbon at 06:49 PM on 05/12/08
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Real men are that the theater next door watching "Mamma Mia."
Conbon at 06:51 PM on 05/12/08
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@Conbon: Reel mne dont prrofread
Zorica at 06:55 PM on 05/12/08
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@brechtgirl: Drinks $30??? What city you drinkin' in?

The leftover money is the fee they charge for holding your dignity whenever it's revealed that you booked a package with the words "it's not all about sex" in the title and uses Mr. Big as a descriptor of the intended customer.
EleanorRigby at 06:59 PM on 05/12/08
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Too bad The Emperor's Club was shut down. This would have been their most profitable night ever.
Mike_Jahn at 07:09 PM on 05/12/08
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@VirusWithShoes: ... wipe out an endangered species hunting for lunch ...
In Other News... at 07:10 PM on 05/12/08
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@VirusWithShoes: Was that you down by River Ness, with the tumbled onyx stone, rousing Nessie from her Loch?
Mike_Jahn at 07:12 PM on 05/12/08
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@Mike_Jahn: I miss my copy of Real Men Don't Eat Quiche. Years ago it followed in the footsteps of American manhood and got lost.
Tammany_Fall at 07:17 PM on 05/12/08
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@In Other News...: I love seeing comments like this on the main page, looking at the post they're attached to, and thinking, "How the fuck did they get THERE?"
In Other News... at 07:21 PM on 05/12/08
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@brechtgirl: We call it "Man Math." The resulting convo usually goes something like this:

THRIFTY WIFE
Honey?

NEANDERTHAL HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND
Duh, yeah.

THRIFTY
I found these receipts in your pants.

NEADERTHAL
Yeah.

THRIFTY
Groceries, bus tickets, a week's worth of lunches.

NEANDERTHAL
Yeah.

THRIFTY
So it adds up to exactly 217 dollars and 16 cents.

NEANDERTHAL
Do you have like a calculator or something implanted in your medulla?

THRIFTY
Yes. So, what happened to the other money?

NEANDERTHAL (mumbles)
Errk.

THRIFTY
I gave you $300.

(NEANDERTHAL reaches into his pockets, pulls them inside out. A Jolly Rancher clatters on the floor, fighting with a singular penny for audible dominance.)

THRIFTY
Well?

NEANDERTHAL
Um, I bought an ice cream yesterday. The truck, it played a funny song.

THRIFTY
And?

NEANDERTHAL
I got one of those Wrigleys. The Juicy Fruit, there's really no juice in there you know.

THRIFTY
That's about $2.

NEANDERTHAL
So how much am I short?

THRIFTY
About $81.

NEANDERTHAL (blissfully unaware)
Hmmm.

THRIFTY
Honey, if this keeps happening, no more allowance, okay?

NEANDERTHAL
Errrk. Okay.

THRIFTY
Okay, let's go.

NEANDERTHAL
Uh, where?

THRIFTY
The new Sex And The City movie. I got tickets through Fandango.

NEANDERTHAL
Uh, um...

THRIFTY
We're going with Woody and Soon-Yi.

(NEANDERTHAL takes action that is drastic, plunging a butter knife into his spleen.)

NEANDERTHAL
Oops, can't go.

(THRIFTY puts both hands on waist, cocks head to the side.)

THRIFTY
Oh, silly.

Fin.
In Other News... at 07:21 PM on 05/12/08
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@Tammany_Fall: We have maps available. :-)
brechtgirl at 07:23 PM on 05/12/08
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@Zorica: Well I thought a round of drinks meant one each--hence the $30.

But since we're asking, I'm a buy a case and drink at home kinda gal -- drunk on a budget.
BeRightBack at 07:26 PM on 05/12/08
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@In Other News...: We're going with Woody and Soon-Yi.

HAAAAAAAAAAAA.

(I don't really understand why that's so funny. It just is)
Buzz Killington at 07:41 PM on 05/12/08
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If Al Qaeda wants to redeem themselves for 9/11 in the eyes of New Yorkers, they'll blow up every theater thats showing the SATC movie.
Zorica at 09:00 PM on 05/12/08
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@brechtgirl: Ah, I understand. It's kind of comedic, me calling someone out on a thing involving numbers. I messed up counting to eight today. True story.

I used to try the "drink at home" thing, but I found that once we (or I, for that matter) got sauced, money suddenly became "nothin' but a thang" and the damage was worse because I was drunker when I started so I was less cautious in my choice of weapons. Nothing says "Saturday" like "broke and sick." And by "Saturday" I mean "Wednesday," because really, how much sense does it make to have Tequila Tuesday on Friday?
Bowlactus, Smoker of... at 11:02 PM on 05/12/08
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this movie's gonna be so good.
oneninesevenfour at 11:57 PM on 05/12/08
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I expect enterprising Craig's List posters will fill the void left by housewives out to see SATC premier. I also expect Gawker to cover it.
ellagood at 12:55 AM on 05/13/08
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wow, and here i was hoping that mr. ella would just hire a whore on the night i go see SATC with my girls.