Gawker
Suge Knight, CEO of Death Row Records, intimidating former football player, and certified gangster, somehow got himself knocked out at a club on Saturday night. Odd! Even odder: the guy who did the knocking allowed TMZ to take his picture, although "he didn't want us to use his name." Message to that guy: Run, you fool! Run for your life! Message to Suge Knight: we are on your side in this and all other disputes, and don't let anyone tell you any differently. But seriously, Mr. Punchy: Run. Below, two pictures of Suge Knight laid out unconscious, which should not be construed as disrespectful to him in any way:
[via TMZ]
Comments
Oh, SHIT!
"I ain't scared of Suge, Yakuza crime syndicates, whatever, just don't fuck with me, I won't fuck withchall."
He's a barber, giving "I'm gonna cut you!" a whole new meaning.
Look at that limp wrist! Thanks, Terrence Dean- I would have never guessed.
In Suge's defense at 315 lbs it's easy to fall asleep in any social setting.
href="#c5656039">SnarkTwain: A shame Vanilla Ice wasn't brave enough to give us limp-wristed Suge.
You haven't lived until Suge Knight has dangled you from a window. Or until you've felt the unspeakable itch of a bone mending slowly.
No caption competition for this one?
Oh. Right.
I'm curious about the phrase "next target" in the headline, as that would suggest that Suge has had a target in the past, and we all know that certainly isn't true.
That is one filthy sidewalk.
I see dead people.
Shznit! Homey needs to start running like a kenyan.
Suge down? All I see are an ashy elbow, and a girl who can't seem to put down her phone at a time like this.
That, friends, is "knocked the fuck out."
Death Row, baby!
Buying A Shuge Knight CD: $15:00
Attending A Shuge Knight Concert: $125.00
Seeing Shuge Knight Knocked Out: Priceless
The Suge ain't working
Holy crap, dude better get the heck out of the country.
Suspect is hatless! repeat, hatless!
Judging by the third photo, the female passerby also peed on Suge. Dayum!
lay on playa
And yet CEO Dov Charney's masturbatory ways are still far more damaging to HIS company's stock price than CEO Suge Knight's rep.
Mr. Knight,
I don't know who Hamilton is. Or anyone else here, for that matter. In fact, where am I? What is this place and how did I get here?
"What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' FELLERS, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', SUPER CUTS MAN? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass."
@ian spiegelman:
[www.space-debris.com]
"He tasks me. He tasks me and I shall have him. I'll chase him 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up!"
@In Other News...: "Botany Bay. Botany Bay!? Oh no..."
A very knowledgeable source of mine states that the "guy who did the knocking" was actually Elizabeth Smart, the Utah girl who in 2002 was kidnapped and held captive for nine months by a deranged handyman.
Word on the street is that Compton has been "talkin' shit" about Salt Lake City for years.
Since Elizabeth seems to have an uncanny knack for disappearing without a trace for months at a time, chances are she'll be able to avoid Suge's wrath until cooler heads prevail.
@In Other News...: @ian spiegelman: Ah, Hamilton, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold... IN SPACE.
@CaptainHangNail: And no one can hear you scream.
Is that you 2Pac? You look different, yo.
@ian spiegelman: Isn't that Alien? Because I distinctly remember being able to hear Kirk scream "Khan!" several times whilst trapped in the Genesis Cave...
Uhmm don't you know Gossip girl is on?
suge! welcome to gawker, we're all big fans. here, have some bourbon!
@the supergoddess: how about a nice lemon square? homemade!
Has anything like that ever happened to Pat Boone?
@the supergoddess: Don't bait him, I bet he doesn't do snark.
@adropp: OMFG. I was transfixed by how the witness protection program changed 2Pac's face.
@CaptainHangNail: "No one can hear you scream" is Alien. But "Botany Bay" is what Chekov says just before Kaaahn captures him... the name of the shuttle they banished him and his followers in. Sheesh!
@ian spiegelman:
Dude, Botany Bay wasn't a shuttle, come ON!!! Kidding.
"Everyone, remember where we parked."
@the supergoddess: He's not in a lemon square kinda mood.
@In Other News...: You challenge my nerdness at every step!!!
@the supergoddess: I like you... Do not taunt Suge? And do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
@ian spiegelman:
"I could only succeed you, sir."
Suge, I kicked yo' ass and once and I'll do it again. And by the way, yo' mama. That's right, yo mama. Watchu' gonna' do, bitch?
Sincerely,
Hillary Clinton
@MisterLincoln: Hillz, bitch, you bettah back the fuck on up or I'ma get all up in yo shit. Whatchoo got against Suge? What he done to you, ho? Take dat shit back befoe I smack dat ass.
Sheeet, bitch, you ain't gettin' this vote.
Sincerely,
John Edwards
Suge,
Now you know. I'm the sole MVP.
Sincerely,
Barack "The Senator" Obama
It was me.
I didn't mean it.
I gesticulate. A lot.
It's a cultural thing. Sorry.
@ian spiegelman: Oh you and your obscure references that send me looking for old video clips!
[video.google.com]
@ian spiegelman: I'm also going to blame you for my failure to embed the video correctly. No reason.
is that bad news brown?
@ellagood: Realizing that in this dude's case, it's not TMZ, it's TMI.
Nice shirt, Suge, diggin' the yellow...