Resolution No. 3: Put The Weinstein Company to Death For Forthcoming 'Fraggle Rock' Film

WHEREAS, The Weinstein Company is a theatrical releasing venture co-owned by the brothers Bob and Harvey Weinstein, and

WHEREAS, Fraggle Rock was a 1980s-era HBO children's television series developed and produced by the late Muppets creator Jim Henson, and

WHEREAS, The Weinstein Company reportedly will join the Jim Henson Co. in adapting Fraggle Rock as a feature film, and

WHEREAS, Fraggle Rock: The Series is a warmly remembered part of our generation's upbringings, and

WHEREAS, Fraggle Rock: The Movie marks the Weinsteins' latest contribution to a burgeoning family tradition that also includes the Satan-appeasing rehash of Short Circuit and sundry teen slasher films, and

WHEREAS, Harvey Weinstein today tells Variety with a straight face: "One of our main priorities when we first launched the Weinstein Company was to feature a broad range of family-friendly franchises like Fraggle Rock," and

WHEREAS, this is a man who also prioritized buying the Halston fashion label and recently earned $107,435 on a $4 million investment in a John Cusack film, and

WHEREAS, the Weinsteins acquired and/or developed numerous successful, influential films for more than 15 years as the founders of Miramax Films, and

WHEREAS, the Weinsteins in no way, shape or form walked away from Miramax and its struggles with corporate parent Disney in 2005 with the intention of reviving Fraggle Rock and/or any "franchises" like it, and

WHEREAS, Harvey Weinstein watched in horror as Miramax developed (or co-developed) three Best Picture Oscar nominees in the years since the Weinsteins left, winning in 2007 (as well as claiming the Best Foreign-Language Oscar in 2005), and

WHEREAS, Harvey secured his sole Oscar nod in 2007 after threatening to shoot himself if it failed to materialize, and

WHEREAS, the director of Fraggle Rock: The Movie is also the man responsible for Hoodwinked, one of the ugliest animated films in recent memory and, not coincidentally, one of the Weinstein Company's rare successes;

WHEREAS, no living human being of any age, taste or discretion wants to see this film,

WHEREAS, we can no longer idly sit by as the Weinstein Company chases its tail, cannibalizes its imagination, squanders its founders' pioneering legacy, and sputters impotently out of our hearts and into cultural oblivion,

NOW, THEREFORE, LET IT BE RESOLVED BY DEFAMER,

1. The Weinstein Company be put to death by immediate closure and liquidation of its "assets," including but not limited to Fraggle Rock: The Movie, and

2. The Weinsteins' employees be immediately relocated to safe houses in Hollywood and New York for rehabilitation and eventual release back into the industry workforce, and

3. Bob and Harvey Weinstein be banned from future film dealings pending the results of a psychiatric evaluation and two years' community service counseling soul-deadened moviegoers at the multiplexes where their films receive wide release.

RESOLUTION PASSED this 13th day of May, 2008.

SIGNED,

DEFAMER