West Virginia just keeps outdoing itself! The state—which is separate from regular Virginia because they used to like black people—is expected to overwhelmingly support Hillary Clinton in tonight's primary. Because Senator Clinton has been quite effective in drumming up support among older, blue-collar voters, yes, but also because Barack Obama is a Muslim and a terrorist who will enslave the white race and probably suicide bomb the White House. In the clip above, a voter explains that she can't support a Muslim. The reporter half-assedly attempts to correct her. Our voter will have none of it. Doesn't anyone remember Barack Obama's crazy black Christian preacher? There's more!

This recent Financial Times piece about West Virginia voters quotes a "lifelong Democrat":

"I heard that Obama is a Muslim and his wife's an atheist," said Mr Simpson, drawing on a cigarette outside the fire station in Williamson, a coalmining town of 3,400 people surrounded by lush wooded hillsides.

Mr. Simpson, that does not even make sense. You think a secret radical Muslim would marry an atheist? Even if it was purely to piss off Christians? Sleeper agent jihadists are not known for their tolerance of Enlightenment principles!

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Seriously, West Virginia, we are going to give you back to Virginia unless you can demonstrate that you can handle statehood again. And no one wants that.