William Shatner, the Star Trek actor who has some sort of strange voice modulation disease, rambled to Page Six last night about a gay panic he experienced as a newbie to New York: "We're in the audience, I'm a young hot-blooded Canadian and out come the dancing girls, a plethora of women - and I feel his hand brush my knee. I thought, well, it's an accident, then I felt it again. What the [bleep]? I got up and ran out." How horrible that must have been for him. Fitting that he ended up on Star Trek which has been a strangely free of gay topics in its many and varied incarnations. Though, myriad ways have been found to gay Shatner (and the show) up a bit. Like in (albeit pretty dumb) YouTube music clip mash-ups, like the one above, and in particularly horrifying slash fiction (a section of which you can find after the jump). Final frontier indeed.

For one shocked moment, Jim could see no external genitalia at all—only dense black hair. Then Spock took his hand, guiding it to where the testes would be in a human male, and Jim felt the soft pressure of the sac descending against his palm.

"During moments of stress or environmental extremes the organs are drawn up almost entirely into the body," Spock said. "With practice, the response can also be initiated intentionally. The process of reversal is less easily controlled, however." He hesitated. "Any degree of tension tends to prolong the retraction of the phallus."

He moved Jim's hand up ten centimeters or so. Jim could just make out a dimpled area under the hair, and behind that, a firm mass. He massaged the place gently, feeling it move under the skin. Spock's fingers, where they still rested against the back of his hand, tensed and Jim stopped, unable to tell whether the stroking was pleasant or not.

From "Patterns".

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