Like two straight co-eds showily making out at a party, the fake-lesbian act trotted out by usually-classy film starlets reeks of desperate self-promotion. (Yet, our hetero male readers mysteriously disagree.) There was Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson's W magazine spread, which featured very intense staring that led us to rather sexual conclusions, despite the fact that they played sisters in the movie they were promoting. And now Scarlett and Penelope Cruz's kissing scene is all hyped up in the trailer for Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

Cruz, for her part, has dealt with lesbian rumours for years regarding her friend, actress Salma Hayek. Not that she's discouraged them: "I grabbed Salma's ass just to keep things moving, because everyone was a little slow."

To conclude this chain, we bring to your attention the much-vaunted music video of Cruz kissing who people thought was her biological sister, who was also in the vid. (She was kissing another actress, her reps said! Jeez, people!) And so the snake eats its own tail.