Old Man John McCain will appear on Saturday Night Live this weekend. Just a cameo, of course. Though he hosted in 2002, back when was still a maverick beloved by liberals and elite coastal types. Details of the sketch he'll appear in are scarce, though it will probably be toothless and unfunny, as all SNL political material tends to be. McCain might be funny, though! Presumably less wooden than Obama and Clinton were in their toothless, unfunny cameos. McCain's a natural comic (have you heard the one about how Chelsea Clinton is ugly?). Which, as we all know, is utterly unpresidential.

The funnier candidate nearly always loses. This has been true since time immemorial. It's why Lincoln was the best President ever and why LBJ only got in accidentally. Is a dude who was in Wedding Crashers really suited to run the nation? Really?

The nation does not care for irony or wisecracks. The nation hates smarty-pants who think they're better than everyone else, which describes most good comedians. Adlai Stevenson was witty. Al Gore, painted as a stuck-up nerdlinger, has a deft, ironic sense of humor. We still think Hillary making fun of Barack Obama was funny. Big fat losers, all of them.

And John McCain can crack wise with the best of them, which is why reporters love him. He's got no filter (though he's working on it), he invites the press to bullshit with him, and they eat it up. He's been on The Daily Show 500 times. Of course, the last appearance was his least funny appearance. And this SNL cameo will be appropriately bland.