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We take a moment now to honor the memory of the two biggest bitches in Hollywood history—that would be Bette Davis and Joan Crawford—whose man-swiping, lesbian-overture-rebuffing, Oscar-campaign-sabotaging exploits provided the behavioral template for generations of shock starlets to come. Today's Daily Mail provides a highly engrossing and detailed account of their lifelong rivalry, its poisonous roots stemming of course over ownership of a man—in this case, actor Franchot Tone. (He might not look like much, but trust us—this guy was totally the Joel Madden of his day.) It all came to a head on the set of the 1962 sleeper thriller that would offer both women not only an unlikely comeback, but all the near-fatal accident-rigging they could handle:

"Davis, the attacker in the movie, was supposed only to simulate violence.But as she raised and swung her right foot, encased in a black anklestrapped shoe, she made contact with Crawford's head, gashing her scalp, which needed three stitches, and causing a lump the size of an egg."

Both women survived the shoot, and Davis would even earn an Oscar nomination—which she'd lose to Anne Bancroft. Crawford would of course go on to live in infamy as the subject of Faye Dunaway's kabuki-inspired turn as the dry-cleaning-averse actress in Mommie Dearest. Davis, meanwhile, would too wind up the subject of an unflattering memoir by one of her children, but eventually be better remembered for her timeless advice on the best way an aspiring starlet could get into Hollywood.