Well, we've made it through another one, eh? The work week is over. (Sucks to be you, Spiegelman!) What will you do this weekend? Will you indulge in spirits and women of questionable morals? Will you be a woman of questionable morals? Will you simply stay at the computer, furtively toggling between Gawker and that "Brazen Asians" site you like so much? Well, I can guarantee that six of you commenters will be enjoying the most glorious, soaringly happy weekend of your lives. Because six of y'all are about to be COMMIE'D. But who will it be? Find out after that thing that Kriss Kross will make ya do.
- From moff in How To Succeed as a Writer: Be a Luddite:
"On the one hand, personal experience suggests to me that this is totally true.
On the other hand, I've only heard of one of these people."
- From Conbon in PETA Condemns NYT Photos On Pure Reflex:
"I thought you had to get As to work for the NYT." [Worst. Comment. Ever.]
- From BalkNChain in Barack Obama Has Visited ALLLL the States:
"He still has to name the Child-like Empress to stop the Nothing."
- From RMwangaguhunga in Our Plan for The Real World: Brooklyn:
"blogga, please. I haven't watched that show since they held an intervention for the drunk, Hawaiian lesbian Ruthie. I hope the entire cast gets cat scratch fever from a bodega cat." [Mostly just for "blogga, please."]
- From flipper-baby in Foxy Brown Pleads Guilty to Cell Phone Menacing:
Though this is reminiscent of the time Afrika Bambaata plead nolo contendere to threatening me with his GPS device."
- Your Party Pick, once again, went to a lengthy bit of prose. it seems you like to reward hard work, and I can certainly get behind that. So step on up, VirusWithShoes, and take credit for your lovely work in Book of Celebrity Dicks Coming Soon, Probably in Hardcover:
"It is a widely known fact that the size of Scottish penises (or "Jock-cocks", "thistle-wranglers", "sheep-stabbers", "anti-English-hard-ons") are of such an enormous size, it made the wearing of pants (or "trousers") difficult for most of the population until the mid 1700's, and hence made the invention and subsequent wearing of the kilt a necessity. Many years of roaming the hillsides looking for some English to trap and eat, coupled with the free-flowing aspects of basic kiltery led to a clause being inserted into the Act of Union in 1707 banning the wearing of the kilt unless in a designated area whilst playing the bagpipes and gouging gullible tourists about fake monsters in slightly creepy lakes. Following the assimilation into the United Kingdom, kilt-wearing nearly died out, and was replaced by the Scottish male almost exclusively wearing shortie-shorts, around which he hung his drying haggis and skulls "he had innocently found" of the English. This was seen as a blatant attempt in goading the English, coupled with the fact that Robert Burns had just spread a rumour about every Englishman only having half a testicle due to the overproduction of a nascent imperial arrogance on their part..." [There's more! Click through on the link to read the rest of the opus.]
Lovely work as always to both the winners and the unrecognized. You all bring wine to my table, flame to my cigarette, and, when I inevitably need it, relief to my hangover. Have great weekends!