Young Angelina Jolie's Greatest Sin (It's Not S&M or Heroin)

Heroin? S&M sex? BORING. The real nugget of sadism behind the unearthed video of actress-turned-self-righteous-humanitarian Angelina Jolie in the UK's Sun is her blasé confession about—whoops!—kind of killing her pets. She's worse than Paris Hilton, who got in trouble for neglecting her many chihuahuas—and worst of all, young Jolie, filmed rambling on in what the Sun calls a "drug den," thinks her forgetfulness is really cute, grinning sheepishly as she recounts the pets she's killed over the years: "I had a dog and I ended up beating him, and he got sick and... I've hurt so many—I am just not a good animal person... I had a rabbit that died, too... a cage fell on him..."

That happened when she was six. But then—

"I had a hamster... I took him in the shower. He died of pneumonia. I had a bunch of little lizards. My friend left them in the sun, and I came back and they were just... my snake, I tried to kill."

Haha! Soooo funny, especially coming from the U.N.'s Goodwill ambassador, who dresses in somber St. Johns suits while getting all preachy about what will really help New Orleans. Listen, drug use is forgivable, the S&M sex you refer to in this video is all well and good if you're into that sort of thing—but skipping through life leaving a trail of dead pets is truly a proof of idiocy. That's all.