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Just in time for blockbuster season, Ad Age brings into crisp relief the latest crisis befalling multiplexes around the country: Evil, evil popcorn. "According to an Agriculture Department report, next year's corn stocks are expected to plunge to a 13-year low and, as a result, corn-futures contracts have soared to an all-time high," notes reporter Claude Brodesser-Akner. "This can be attributed to the demand for ethanol, which will claim 40% of next year's corn crop, munching away at the margins of theaters that rely on concession sales for as much as 45% of their revenue." The author has more stats as well, none more distressing than that citing an 80% markup currently affecting popcorn and beverages concessions. Wait — except for maybe the one that claims 63% of moviegoers over 12 don't mind ads before the films. The whole thing has MPAA president Bob Pisano predicting "mutually assured destruction," with viewers retreating to the comfort of their homes. Defamer's solution: Booze, naturally, and a section of 21-and-over seats to make it work with the law. Yes, they'll have some drunks, but they do already; who else is the market for The Love Guru? [Ad Age]