Well, that's that, eh? Gossip Girl's dizzying, dismaying, frustrating, and fabulous first season came to a breezy, sun-soaked end last night. I thought it was pretty good. Sure the last ten or so minutes may have been a bit overstuffed with plot developments, but that was kind of refreshing for a show that can be a bit slack, plus it was the finale. They're allowed to set up cliffhangers and new possibilities for next season. As we look down the barrel of a summer TV landscape populated by American Gladiators and Last Comic Standing, let's take a look at where our fakest New York friends ended up, and where they might be headed.
Serena and Dan are no longer, thank the gods. Their relationship had become stuffy and boring before Serena's Georgina-related freakout, and it was time for them to, in true teen-soap tradition, turn to other friends in their immediate circle. Imagine the incestuous knot they'll have woven by the time the show reaches season four (God willing)! Dan ended it because, well, it was just all too much for even the wisest of seventeen year old boys. Serena cried in her enormous yellow vacuum bag dress and probably so did a few thirteen year olds. But don't worry, things are looking cozy and peasanty with Brooklyn buddies Dan and Vanessa again, and Serena and the newly (and somewhat stiltedly) Vanessa-free Nate have made plans to be "alone together" during the summer. Oh, exciting. Though, Dan and Vanessa are a bit cutesy and cloying. They actually might be the worst-written characters on the show. (Nate is just under-written.) Ah well. See you around Brooklyn, friends.
Lesser characters like Georgina and Rufus and Jenny all ended up on journeys of their own. The wicked Georgie was sent, in a grand set-up by Blair and (gasp!) Dan, off to reformatory school by her glaring parents (and an ominous looking valet of some sort.) Rufus tried to stop Lily from marrying Bart, but in the end she went ahead and entered into the icy, loveless, money-drenched union. Rufus went on tour with his silly band, and young (cue Grams from Dawson's Creek) Jennifffeerrr ended up with a Pratt Institute Parsons fashion design internship...with Blair's mom. Oops! So, some dangling threads there and whatnot. I don't imagine Lily and Bart will last all that long, and I doubt it's the last we'll see of Georgina Sparks. Though, hopefully she'll have "gotten some work done" and they'll cast Willa "Kaitlin Cooper" Holland as a replacement for ol' Trachtenberg. That would be satisfying. And Jenny? Well who knows/really cares. Maybe they'll Grace her up with a Will, in Erik van der Woodsen form. By the way, where the hell is that kid? He's been mostly missing since he stumbled out of the closet. A mystery for next season, I suppose.
Obviously, I've saved the best for last. Dear, sweet, shin-kicking, scarf-during-sex-wearing Blair and Chuck. I will admit to being a bit yucked out by Chuck being so nice, mostly because it was a change that seemed to happen inorganically fast. One minute he's scheming and fucking around, the next he's a concerned and (reasonably) pious best friend and lovelorn Romeo. But I can forgive it, mostly because Ed Westwick sells it well. Blair, happily, has remained a consistent, though evolving, Blair. The shin kick, the collar grab, the door slam. All wonderful bits of physical acting by the immensely likable Leighton Meester. The big question at the end for these two was, of course, if their whirlwind, Europe-going romance would hit the skids sooner or later. It looks as though sooner won out.
After an "I'm proud of you son" speech from Papa Bass, Chuck got a little panicked about this new, vanilla boy he was supposed to become. So, deus ex machina and all, who should enter but an alarmingly skinny assistant or decorator or something played (barely) by none other than Lydia Hearst. Chuck got his smirk back and it was off a' courtin'. Meanwhile on a helipad somewhere, Blair waited for Chuck and met cute with a young swain from the Bass company (who, it should be noted, was played by Zack Conroy, a young actor who played Pip/Theo in a production of Three Days of Rain that I stage managed back at old Boston College. Hello Zack!) Eventually getting a no-show from Chuck, Blair decided what the hell, and hopped aboard with the briefcase boy, off for a ten hour (really?) flight to Italy. Is this the end of Chuck and Blair? In the words of a famous Massachusetts furniture commercial: I doubt it.
So that's where we are. Everyone's off to places either new and far-flung (physically and emotionally) or comforting and familiar (ditto.) My favorite thing about the very end of the episode was how it managed to capture that giddy sense of possibility and excitement that only the beginning of summer can bring. "What will happen?" "I could just disappear!" All those exciting feelings. Thankfully, this show doesn't appear to be going anywhere for longer than a summer. I've been a bit hard on it at times, but I truly enjoy this series, and look forward to a hopefully savvier and smarter second season. Enjoy your summers everyone! (Except, you know, I'll still be here.)
Well? What did you think?







Well, that's that, eh? 



Comments
I know someone out there is plotting an LOLcat-ized version of "I'm Chuck Bass." I implore you: please, don't.
Dan calling Nate "Manbangs" complete with a hand swoop across his forehead was almost as good as Georgina selling her horse for coke (and supposedly being on the equestrian circuit) and Chuck keeping his scarf on during sex ("That was one time!"). Oh and the Lohan reference. Spot on, GG writers, spot on.
Ed Westwick, I salute ye. If the show were called "The Chuck Bass Hour" and starred Ed Westwick dressed all in black in a white room, I'd watch the hell out of it. Magic. And Meester fucking rocked it as per usual.
Did anyone else notice that they actually let Chace Crawford, like, ACT in this one? And he sort of pulled it off!
Parsons, not Pratt. Just sayin'.
I do want the jacket Nate was wearing at the end. Lydia Hearst- DO NOT WANT.
@AuntPeniston: Thanks!
"Feelings," he said. "I've...heard of those."
@Sara Benincasa: It's weird, right? Crawford's easily the most recognizable/famous cast member (thanks largely to Perez Hilton), and yet he's so rarely in it he might as well be an extra, or at best the actor noted in the credits as "third guy on the right."
I think Ms. Hearst thought she could just "be herself".
Dan and his father are not so much a counterpoint in this show as a counterwieght. Dull. Dishwater. They need to develop serious heroin addictions during the offseason or become mad bombers or something. Everyone else is fun and sparkly and goofy as hell. Thanks for providing some cultural subtext cover so I am not ashamed of catching this show.
@Koreanish: The pinch-faced blonde at the end of the show was the Hearst heiress? I guess money doesn't make the fug go away.
@Adminitraitor: But really, rather than watching Crawford do what could be best described as "quasi-acting", give us more Blair/ Chuck deliciousness... Sex with scarves, Blair's complete out-bitching of Georgina ("Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here.") Far more devilishly entertaining.
Okay, the season is over and I still don't understand why all the clothes on the show are SO ugly. And I mean SO. And the haircuts (oh my God "I am Chuck Bass"--off to the salon with you!!!). And the people are mostly not good actors so it makes a lot of scenes uncomfortable to watch. I feel like it would be more fun to watch some of the scenes if the characters were all these wealthy upper east siders with Cerebal Palsy--there would at least be more colors and shadings and emotions. I actually like Jenny because she's an old school soap staple: the have-not trying to have, so I look forward to her working for Eleanor and the stuff that's bound to erupt between her and Blair. And that's kind of compelling, right? So even though I think GG is too boring and moral (more sex! more drugs! more betrayal! more, more, more!!!!!), I will soldier on through another season.
OMG!!! The season finale!! I'm so excited I won't have to hear people talk about this glorified mashup between Beverly Hills 90210 and an Urban Outfitters store anymore!!!
@WackoJacko: PS. Take a page out of Models Inc., Josh Schwartz! Have Georgina drug Serena and sell her into sex trafficking in a far flung country!!!!! And then have Dan rescue her on a Vespa!!!
@GothamPity:
That bitch line may have been the best of the season, if only because the "I'm Chuck Bass" refrain is dangerously close to becoming overused prematurely.
Maybe for their summer vacations together, Dan and Vanessa can take acting lessons at Brooklyn College.
@WackoJacko: and i suppose the captain crunch inspired outfits of your namesake are any better?
watching the show right now, but i heard it was lame. looks like josh schwartz is getting to the suck early this time.
@JudgeFudge: ha!
I kind of love the Lily + Bart = Lily Bart (House of Mirth) symbolism.
Or am I reading way too much into that?
Is it my imagination, or did Lily and Rufus make some kind of arrangement that allowed the wedding to continue but is gonna let them hook up? That's what it looked like to me.
Gossip Girl abounds with Edith Wharton references--it's really her world, and the GG writers are cleverly updating it. I cannot wait for season 2!
@bess marvin, girl detective: On the contrary, I don't think the show "sucks" enough. I want more close-ups and money shots, metaphorically speaking; I don't care if it's on the CW. I wish it were on HBO with full frontal everything. I just don't understand why it's not more nihilistic, that's all; and the clothes by extension. Sue me.
@Severine: Absolutely! Lily & Bart, etc...
Of course, I see Wharton references everywhere.
@WackoJacko: i didn't mean that snootily, i'm sorry if it came across the way.
this show would make my brain explode if it was on HBO. and they could do so much better. look at the storylines they burned through. if i were the showrunner (a detective can dream!) i wouldn't even introduce georgi until the season finale. i'd end every show with serena getting a gift from the mysterious "g". i would focus a little mroe on the family (what the fuck happened to nate's mother?!) and i would lengthen jenny's rise to the top and then her eventual fall in season 2. but alas with the strike and because this is a josh schwartz show (which must be repeated), we get this. but kudos to him because "all about my brother" is one of the best stand alone episodes.
Chuck Bass, please report to my room immediately!
@Adminitraitor: the best part is that nobody outside of this little nyc gossip world actually knows who she is... socialites dont exist in the midwest. its only for our amusement.
I panicked when I thought Chuck would actually become a one-woman man, then he came to his senses.
I. Love. Blair.
I am so stealing the line "I can be a bitch enough for both of us."
Do I see an unplanned late-in-life preganancy? Rufus and Lily?
love the use of "time to pretend" by MGMT at the scene of the wedding.
"I Doooubt it." Bob's discount! I could kill that man.
Oooh, I totally think Lily and Rufus made an arrangement. And if they didn't, well, they no longer have to pretend to not love each other to save their badly acting spawn from pseudo-incest shame. Fun fun fun!
omg Dean's Furniture.
@bess marvin, girl detective: Was that the "ice was thinning below you and me" or whatever song? If so, I really liked it.
@bess marvin, girl detective: Agreed!
Also, Bob's Discount Furniture reference FTW!!! Thank you Richard, you just made my day.
not Bob's, the original mad MA furniture man Dean, who I believe went bankrupt, no?
@scrappydont: I think this Dean fellow might have been before my time. All I know is that Bob co-opted it for his horrible commercials. Whenever I hear that phrase, my mind goes blank while I idly mouth the words and reach for a knife.
@bess marvin, girl detective: Oh, never mind. I'm an idiot.
@Richard: not sure of the lyrics but it's the song used as we first see the wedding preparations.
another good song by MGMT is "kids"
Who is this mysterious lady who serves cookies on private planes? The brats of the ruling class get all the breaks!
There were only two good scenes last night:
1. Blair putting Georgina in her place. Amazing
2. Chuck hitting on the decorator/Ms. Hearst. "I'm Chuck Bass."
Other than that the show was completely useless.
Strega --ooh, I hadn't even thought that through; I'd figured Bart will die/go into a coma, leaving Lily with a Bart Jr.2 to raise with Rufus. Um, yours makes much more sense.
I'd hoped they'd bring Lily's horrible mother back for the wedding, but the storyline was already so crowded she wouldn't have been any use.
Have they ever actually explained where Serena had been in 2007?
bob's is from ct, although he did branch out to ma...and no, he's very far from bankrupt. unfortunately for those of us who get creeped out by singing feet and/or furniture.
The line of the night, "So what happened with 'Man-Bangs'?" Totally worth all the rest.
if you want to talk about obnoxious local commercials, look not further than used car salesman bob fucillo of buffalo, ny. his "it's gonna be HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE" was the bane of my existence for the four years i dared venture north of bronx county
@louise: That whole timeline makes no sense, but I forget why.
Also, Georgina Bloomberg is an accomplished equestrian person. Just saying.
Let me put the Bob's/Dean's controversy to rest. Dean's Home Furniture had the "I doubt it" line. Bob's commercials were sill too, though.
I just want to nom his wardrobe.
I love hit, I hate him, I love him. It's a vicious cycle.
More House of Mirth fun:
Lily Bart (self-sabotaging beauty) = Lily/Serena
Lawrence Selden = Dan/Rufus
Laudanum = cocaine
Millinery = stupid headbands
Grand Central Terminal = Grand Central Terminal
@bess marvin, girl detective:
most. obnoxious. commercials. ever. not to mention the photo of him sprawled across every bus in the city. HUGE, BUFFALO, HUUUUUUUUUGE!!!
so what was that reference in the be