After intrepidly (and only somewhat confusedly) parsing the fourth installment of the Indiana Jones franchise yesterday, we've looked on in amazement as the phenomenon continues its global siege. To wit: If ever we actually wanted to see Harrison Ford return for a fifth Indy film, we can only hope it extrapolates the promise of the accompanying trailer for Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Gay Rabbi. Which looks suspiciously more influenced by the 1979 Harrison Ford/Gene Wilder vehicle The Frisco Kid, but still — it's not like George Lucas is going to come up with anything better. (via The Hot Blog)

While we're at it:

—Eric Kohn's text-message live-blog from Cannes's first Indy 4 screening has drawn scorn from varying corners of the Web, with especially bitter CHUD critic Devin Faraci accusing Kohn of "having the distinct cranial structure of a douchebag" and unprofessionally "lowering the bar" with his stunt. Ahem. We'll agree only to the extent Kohn — a talented, sharp-minded colleague of ours from way back — annoyed his fellow theatergoers, which appears to be not at all: He sat in the back of the theater and had his phone concealed the whole time. Must we really endure a backlash from the likes of the inbreds at eFilmCritic before this non-issue goes away?


—And anyway, Shia LaBeouf isn't having any of this critical bullshit from anyone anyway, telling Entertainment Weekly that last week's early reviews were fabricated. "You know it's not a real review when no mention gets made of cinematography, or the camera setups, or anything pertaining to Steven's direction of the film. ... As soon as I heard there was a review, I was like, Really? That's crazy, 'cause I haven't seen the movie."

—Meanwhile, John Patterson sighs ruminatively at The Guardian: "If only we had more geriatric heroes." If only... no.


—And finally, the "Indiana Jones-approved" Texas furniture manufacturer Lifestyle Solutions is flirting with lawsuit oblivion with a garish, unauthorized and sporadically hilarious Indy 4 tie-in: "After a hard day of wielding his whip, dodging boulders and taking on bad guys, even Indiana Jones would appreciate a good night's rest on a Lifestyle Solutions Furniture platform bed." Just to be sure, his lawyers should be testing them out aaaaany minute now.