Little French Comedy To Be Drained Of All Charm By Will Smith

· Will Smith will produce the U.S. version of Bienvenue chez les Ch'tis, a little French comedy sleeper about a post office manager banished to the boonies. "There are only 65 million people who live in France, and $191 million seemed to defy all logic," explained producer Ken Stovitz, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and passing clear out as he did some quick calculations and came up with an opening weekend domestic total of $1.2 billion. [Variety]
· John Grisham's novel Playing For Pizza, about a slice of pizza who gets recruited by a high-power law firm only to find itself caught up in a web of corruption and intrigue and eventually eaten by a hungry sanitation worker, has been optioned by Phoenix Pictures. [THR]
· John Woo will tackle 1949—a "a big budget romancer," that is not, to our knowledge, a sequel to the 1979 Steven Spielberg film picking up eight years into the high-flying adventures of Cpt. Wild Bill Kelso and friends. [Variety]

· A deal has yet to be signed with The Simpsons's cast, putting the 20th season in jeopardy. Right now, the superstar voice actors make $360,000 per episode; they're asking for $500,000. $11 million for working in sweeeatpannnts....arghghllhghllrlll...
· NBC has picked up Kings—an updated take on the David vs. Goliath story set in "a metropolis under siege," and starring Ian McShane. If it's a hit, expect a whole slew of updated-Bible-story ripoffs, including The CW's short-lived Sam's Son, starring Jesse Metcalfe as the long-tressed hero and Mischa Barton as his wicked seductress. [THR]