Woody Allen's Seething Hatred For Ryan McStupidface Reynolds May Have Led To Scarlett Johansson's Cannes Absence

There's now another take on the story circulated yesterday by the Daily Mail claiming Scarlett Johansson's diva-like demands ultimately resulted in the actress failing to appear at the premiere of Woody Allen's new movie. From the LAT:

My source says all of Scarlett's Cannes requests/needs had been agreed on by April 27 — hair, makeup, security, hotel — and she was good to go. She'd done all the press for her new album — Anywhere I Lay My Head — and was on the final fitting for her Cannes premiere dress designed by Dolce & Gabanna.
Then she announced her engagement to actor Ryan Reynolds on May 5. On May 6, she attended the Costume Institute Gala at the Met wearing Dolce & Gabbana and a diamond engagement ring.

Suddenly, everything changed. "Within 24 hours of the announcement of her engagement, the studio renigged [sic] on the agreed-on terms for Scarlett's appearance at Cannes. It was insane. She was backed up against a wall. Finally, she personally made the decision not to go."

I just had to ask. Is it possible that Woody Allen was annoyed over his muse's sudden engagement?

"Yes," said my source, who pointed out what she says are inaccuracies in the Daily Mail story. [...]

The Weinstein Company has released an official party line to defend Scarlett's honor: "These reports circling about Scarlett are simply untrue and unfair. Both she and Javier were unable to attend Cannes because of various scheduling conflicts. We look forward to working with them when the film is released in late summer."

So there you have it: Johansson was never the avaricious villainess painted by the report; rather, it was her mentor/father figure/source-of -unsettling- smacking-sounds Allen who was to blame, possessed by the green-eyed demon upon learning he'd lose his cherished muse to a no-talent, prettyboy B-actor from Canada of all God-forsaken places. Ultimately, he lashed out the only way he knew how: by refusing to sign off on a $4000-per-day makeup artist, which as everyone knows is director shorthand for, "Congratulations. I hope you both rot in happiness."