Loud, Coarse Motorhead Legend to be Featured in Surprisingly Loud, Coarse Documentary

Where to even start when discussing a documentary about Lemmy Kilmister, the legendary Motorhead frontman and apparent subject of a forthcoming film appropriately enough titled Lemmy? Even the fucking co-directors don't even know, with filmmaker Greg Olliver telling Billboard today: "Shooting Lemmy is like filming dangerous wildlife. He never does what you expect him to do, and he never does anything you want him to do." Olliver's partner, Wes Orshoski, agreed: "Lemmy never ceases to surprise me. ... You think you know who Lemmy is, but you have no idea. If you think you have Lemmy all figured out, trust me. You don't!" Actually... we think we might.

After all, both the trailer streaming over the doc's Web site and Billboard's own review confirm it: "A distribution deal hasn't yet been inked, but the teaser clip [features] onstage footage and such amusing backstage segments as Kilmister testing out a bass amp at deafening volume and telling dirty jokes." The hell with it — make it two films with Benicio Del Toro as Lemmy and a sack lunch with beer during intermission when it premieres at Cannes '09. Distributors love that shit! Oh, wait.