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Congratulations to William Morris, which upped Hollywood's client-packaging stakes to dizzying levels Wednesday with the announcement of a film based on Hasbro's board game Ouija. But the manufacturer hardly matters as much as its WMA partners in the deal, including Elf screenwriter David Berenbaum and Mich... Mi... Christ, we can't even write it. Here, just take it from Borys Kit:

David Berenbaum and Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes have been brought on deck to bring Hasbro's supernatural game Ouija Board to the big screen. The project is set up at Universal, where Hasbro has a six-year strategic partnership.

Although the specific log line for the film is being kept under wraps, the film will be a supernatural adventure with the Ouija board playing an integral part of the story. The movie is not taking a Jumanji-like approach, which involved a game coming to life.

Translation: "The film is being planned without much of a story; maybe a becleavaged young woman channeling a dead ex-lover for clues as to his murderer, who in turn stalks her. (NB to Universal: We're copyrighting that!) Berenbaum will write dialogue, for what it's worth. Something will explode in the name of supernatural adventure. DreamWorks owns the rights to the other key Hasbro/Bay tie-in, Transformers, so large-scale robots are out of the question." Did we miss anything? Does Monopoly make a cameo?