Breaking! Angelina Jolie Proud Mother To Two More Healthy Baby Blobs: UPDATE

Big news! The first Morse code beeps heralding the arrival of two more biologically achieved additions to the Jolie-Pitt clan have landed in our Google Telegraph inbox. The joyous development comes almost two years to the day that the couple's first amorphous Chosen Blob was ushered into this world by a coterie of Namibian midwives. By contrast, genetically flawless Jolie-Pitt White Children Numbers 2 through 3 (names pending) were delivered in France, with all the First-World-medical-facility pampering that implies. More details as they come, including the all-important How Jennifer is Handling the News report, and whether or not it involves any huffily dispatched text messages demanding to know, "So r u in or out?? My body is a ticking biologicl wonderlnd!!"

UPDATE #1: We have names. "ISLA (pronounced eye-la) MARCHELINE (after Angie's mom) and AMELIE JANE (after Brad's mom) JOLIE-PITT."
UPDATE #2: ET's report is wrong, says People!