Ohhh dear. Whitney Port, the moon-faced silent observer on MTV's meditative study of San Andrean ennui The Hills, is rumored to be getting her own spin-off. You'll recall, because you all dutifully watch the show, that last season ended with Port working harder and harder at People's Revolution, a bicoastal fashion PR company run by the fearsome Kelly Cutrone. The show, hopefully to be titled A Girl at Every Port, will follow her as she bops back and forth between the sun-soaked enclaves of the city of lost angels and the dark, steamy corners of grayest Gotham. While in New York, she's scheduled to pal around with socialite/fashion person/sometimes blogger Olivia Palermo. The two will undoubtedly stare at each other, with increasingly bizarre facial expressions, until one of them cracks and says "Umm, yeah" and the episode ends with a soaring emo-pop ballad. Whitney is my favorite character on the show and actually seems to, you know, work, so I might actually be excited about this. Or I might be weeping internally.