PostSecret Without The Work

There's a new blog to send your secret worries about the world to. It's called i am neurotic., obeying the second rule of starting a blog just to get a book deal: Explain the entire blog in the title, as with "Stuff White People Like" and "Postcards From Yo Momma." But "i am neurotic." has an advantage: It's been done before.

For years, people have sent decorated postcards with secret confessions on them, and PostSecret has published them. The blog is practically unassailable because it's so overtly emotional: Who's going to criticize a collection of personal confessions about drug addiction, grief over death, and private fears? (I will: After about thirty postcards, everyone's secrets sound the same.) Frank Warren has published four full-color books of this stuff.

So you've already got a well-respected blog doing what you wanted to do. No problem! For every person who sends a postcard, ten others have a confession but don't want to do the work to send it. Now here comes a site where they can just tap it into a text box. It's an instant content machine! I bet you know one you could type now! Here are some recent entries:

Poop Protocol

I cannot poop if my shirt is all the way on. I have to put one arm out of my sleeve, and put that side of my shirt on my shoulder. I also find it hard to poop with my shoes on, and will take them off if I'm at home. If I'm out and about I will suffer through the shoe thing, but not the shirt.

Floss Sniffer

i have the need to smell the dental floss each time i pull it out from between my teeth. sometimes when other people are around, i have to turn my back in case they catch me sniffing the floss, because i can't just floss without sniffing.

Even Distribution

When eating any food I have to distribute the different parts evenly so that every bite has the same amount of each. E.g. When I eat pizza I tear the crust off first and eat a little bit of the crust with every bite of the interior.

So now everyone with a neurosis can send it here. Okay, we solved the problem of neurosis, everyone! NEXT!