The most-emailed piece in London's Guardian yesterday is about British blogger Zoe Margolis: she's moving to New York to find fresh men who haven't read her personal sex blog, Girl With a One-Track Mind! (Love and labels, isn't that what Carrie Bradshaw said?) Her story is eeeeeerily familiar to us American oversharers; she blogged about her personal (sex) life and subsequently ruined it! "Four-and-a-half years ago, fingers hovering over a keyboard, I did something that, unbeknown to me, would change my life forever: I began to write about my sex life in explicit detail and then publish it, anonymously, on the internet on a blog..."
Being able to write secretly on my blog allowed me to highlight, through my female and feminist perspective, that if a woman enjoyed casual sex it did not make her 'dirty' or a 'slut' or pathological: it just meant she liked sex - and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that.
...Writing anonymously and not having to worry about people judging me, or about my violating others' privacy, I recounted, explicitly, the sex I had had, be it good or bad. I spared no detail, because I wanted to reflect the reality of sex in the most truthful way possible, in the hope that other women who read the blog would relate to my experiences, and that the men reading might unlearn some of the bad habits they'd seemingly picked up from the falsities of porn.
Little did I know that, a couple of years down the line, all my lovers, exes, friends, neighbours, colleagues and family would be reading the blog too. But that's exactly what happened when I lost my anonymity in August 2006.
Some nosy reporters found out who she was—but at least she got a book deal out of the outing. But dating—through friends, or on the Internet—became impossible. Everybody knew her as the sex diarist and got performance anxiety:
"Faced with a woman who's written about sex, Brit blokes are more liable to stare at the ceiling and nervously share their insecurities, rather than just getting stuck in, so to speak.
'I feel weird being in bed with the Girl with a One Track Mind,' one English guy said to me, as we lay side by side, not touching. 'You're not,' I sighed. 'You're in bed with Zoe.'"
Needless to say, her dating options across the pond are done, so now she's spending "increasing amounts of time" in New York, where she correctly notes that everybody writes about their sex life. Let's give her a big warm, New York-style welcome! (And, uh, don't blog here. We'll hunt you down and find you.)