We should have known the epic fanboy disgrace following Transformers 2 HamburgerGate couldn't possibly end well for anyone — not deposed extra Reginald "Hedgehog" Brown, not robot-illiterate mega-director Michael Bay, and certainly not producer Don Murphy, on whose message board Brown's tragic tale of exile first found an outlet. Naturally more than just feelings were hurt in the end, and if you had "Wednesday, 2:18 a.m." — when Murphy published a few of Brown's angry e-mails "so that we can all figure out what he is trying to say" — as the official start time on your Litigation Pissing Match scorecard, then you win a prize:
I'm contacting my lawyer because I can't believe that you got to this lower level dude...I really can't. I wasn't even in PHILLY or PA today and you type all this stuff? Like WTF? Are you the one acting crazy because I have too much proof to show how wrong you and the haters are.
You should feel ashamed of yourself and I never though I sat [sic] that to you...and you let little brown-nosing geeks convince you of lies...this is very sad. Really...
I'd never bother to contact my lawyer if it wasn't serious but now it is. I'm not bluffing...I do have one and he is one of my mentors...I'm gonna make a call.
To which an exasperated Murphy responded, "I am not sure I have said anything bad about you other than the fact that it was a shame you screwed up your part by being self destructive and posting here when told not to. It is a shame." And to which we respond: This is the advance buzz on Transformers 2? "Man Eating Hamburger" gets shitcanned and Shia LeBeouf is videotaped in an epithet-spewing slapfight? Really? What we wouldn't give right now for a leaked shot of a motor home-turned-thundering agent of death, or Megan Fox in pasties — anything.