Do you like the new site design? The black? I think it's lovely. Reminiscent of DEATH. This is step 1 in my plan to turn Gawker into Jack Ketch's Blog of Commenter Executions and Pictures of Medieval Siege Weaponry. It's a new direction for the site, but think of the pageview counts when Gawker is the number 1 result for "Trebuchet" Google searches! None of this is true, really. I actually have no power. Which should be obvious, as most of my victims just return a few days later and continue the schtick they died for in the first place. It's a hard life, but a just one. After the jump, you shall find a few more victims to mourn until they return in 5 hours.

Executed: censoredout
Crime: This isn't obvious by now?

Executed: MICKEYBLUEFRIES
Crime: How about now? Also, D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-I-E-S. You're welcome.

Executed: YourGoldKeith
Crime: Yawning

Executed: IHateNewYork
Crime: OMG A TROLL! KILLLLL IT!!!!

Executed: AndSheSaid
Crime: Well it was obvious, but you did it anyway. That's almost worse.

Executed:Hez
Crime: Bloodthirsty nervous breakdowns are unbecoming of a lady

That was exhausting. I might not have energy enough for the brothels tonight*.

*This is patently untrue.

The author of this post can be contacted at tips@gawker.com