Silence is Sacred at Uptight Writing Space

Paragraph NY is a Manhattan "work space for writers." It's nicer and quieter than your apartment, and don't worry: "Publication is not required for a membership; only serious intent and a strong drive to write." (Required: the desire to pony up $1,400 a year.) However: there will be rules, a recently leaked memo tells us! For example, "If you're wearing heavy or hard-soled shoes, please bring slippers to wear in the writing space." Um, will do. With all these rules, it's like an super-uptight library that you pay out the snout for:

From: "Paragraph"

Date: June 30, 2008 1:01:37 PM PDT
To: Subject: Rules: Reminders & Addition

ALL MEMBERS KINDLY TAKE HEED

Because we have been getting a good number of complaints, we'd like to remind everyone of the following rules:

*Cell phones should not ring or buzz in the writing space.

*Do not answer your phone as you're leaving the writing space. (Dashing for the door in order to answer your phone is an additional disturbance.)

*Do not talk on your cell phone in the hall; your voice carries into the writing space.

*The café area is for eating, taking calls (under ten minutes), checking email, and *quiet* interaction. The cafe area is not for conducting business.

*Noise from the café carries into the writing space, so please keep your voice down.

*No eating is allowed in the writing space. Food attracts mice, and bags, candy wrappers and chewing make noise.

*While in the writing space, mute your computer before you turn it on, and while in use.

*When entering, leaving, and working in the writing space, please be as quiet as possible. Dropping bags and books onto desks, tapping pencils, getting up and down frequently to answer phone calls, and the like should be avoided.

A new rule:

*Newspapers should not be read in the writing space. They make too much noise.

A suggestion:

*If you're wearing heavy or hard-soled shoes, please bring slippers to wear in the writing space.

Thank you for helping to make Paragraph a peaceful place to work.

Lila & Joy