Lindsay Lohan Celebrates Another Year Of Just Barely Keeping It Together

America isn't the only one having a birthday this week. Last night, Lindsay Lohan — everyone's favorite freckle-faced, raspy-voiced, psychologically-damaged, naked-picture-taking, gossip-column-filling, potential-half-sister-having, secretly-lesbian actress — turned 22 years old. It's truly mind boggling to imagine she's that young. Lohan's got so many miles of bad road behind her that I pegged her for at least 35. But no, 22— only one year past the legal drinking age which she's certainly never adhered to. So, how did Linds celebrate this momentous occasion? By throwing an 80's-prom-themed bash at Teddy's in the Roosevelt Hotel, of course. Check in after the jump for more party deets than you can shake a stick at.

"What luminaries attended this Capote-esque soiree?" you ask. Why only the brightest lights this town has to offer. We're talking Joel and Benji Madden (gasp!), Audrina Partridge (swoon!), Sean Stewart (who?), Evan Ross (double who?), Jamie Lynn Sigler (meh), and David Spade (WAY too old). Even E! reality stars Dina and Ali Lohan managed to sneak past the bouncers.

Yet, behind that velvet rope the party turned out to be pretty mild. Lindsay stuck to drinking Red Bull all evening, and according to People Magazine, "Just after midnight, Teddy's wheeled out a large pink sheet cake featuring a picture of Marilyn Monroe in her iconic wind-blown white dress. The entire lounge sang "Happy Birthday" and Lohan obligingly blew out the candles."

Kind of boring, eh? Well to make up for such an uneventful evening, we feel it is our duty to tell you that Star Magazine is reporting that Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan have been seen buying sex toys together! Feel a little more titillated now? Good. That's what we're here for.

[Photo Credit: X17]