It occurred to us here at Defamer HQ that The Love Guru—by all accounts, the most execrable film sediment to coat our cultural shores in eons—marks something of an Unfunniness Benchmark for its dwarfhandling star, Mike Myers. Which got us a-thinking: Was he ever funny? What if we could map the relative comedic trajectory of his collected oeuvre over time and space, in a scientifically controlled environment?
We instantly dispatched a small army of white-coated interns to retrieve a representative cross-section of the Mike Myers-moviegoing population from a number of outdoor shopping plazas, and, once they had signed their releases, hooked them up to some highly advanced vital-sign-measuring equipment. (We'd like to take a moment to once again reassure the test subject who observed, "But this is just a beer helmet attached to a first generation iPod," that the similarities are purely cosmetic.) The preliminary results of our study, compiled and edited by Gawker Intern Anna Peele, are above, with our final findings set to be published in the September issue of Scientific American, in a report entitled, "From Sha-wing to Elephant Dung: The Law of Diminishing Mike Myers Comedy Returns."