Tiny Handlers In Eddie Murphy's Head Prevent Him From Attending 'Meet Dave' Premiere

There's a reason publicists are accustomed to marking the star of Meet Dave on Hollywood guest lists as "Murphy, Eddie; +/- 1," and never was it more apparent than at yesterday's premiere, where the PG-13-ghettoized actor was a last-minute no-show. A frustrated insider took to the DataLounge message boards to vent:

THIS is why Eddie Murphy lost the Oscar.
And why he's so hated in Hollywood.
It's 4:45pm, his "Meet Dave" premiere - which he is the one and only star - is an hour and a half away. And he JUST CANCELLED.

Yep, all that time, money, work by everyone and dickhead Eddie just informed us he decided he's not going to show up. To his own premiere. To promote his own movie.

This is why he lost for Dreamgirls. This is why Hollywood loves to see him fail. Cause even by Hollywood standards, he's an asshole among assholes.

Yes, I am unfortunately working on this mess so I'm in the know.

Left to make the best of the embarrassing absence, Dave producer David T. Friendly told People, "He's not here because he's doing a movie and shooting - he goes back-to-back-to-back. Eddie, he'll never admit it, but he loves to work. And I think work keeps him happy," before shuffling down the press line to joke to an ET correspondent that the miniature aliens living inside his skull had commanded their spacefaring Eddie-vessel to another corner of the crappy-comedy galaxy. We leave you now to browse the sad, Murphy-less Getty Images gallery, where a close-up of Elizabeth Banks's shoes serves as tragic placeholder for a red carpet event robbed of its guest of honor.